


What the Force Wants

by krrn07



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angry Reader, Angsty conversations, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo tragedy, Childhood Trauma, Dominant Kylo Ren, Duh cause she's alligned to the darkside, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Force-Sensitive Reader, Hux is a good friend, IM FINISHING THIS FIC, Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Light Dom/sub, Luke fucked up, Multiple Orgasms, Obsessed Kylo Ren, Over stimulation, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pregnancy stuff, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader is hinted Bi-sexual, References to The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood, Smut, Submissive Kylo Ren, Submissive Reader, Tragic Romance, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Reader, With kylo ren duhh, dom reader, he takes care of his knights, lots of back story, reader is snarky, sexy times are here, tragic back story, very slightly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krrn07/pseuds/krrn07
Summary: You were a knight, more specifically the Lady Ren, stuck amidst six other manly knights, including your Master Kylo Ren. You know your purpose in the order, in life and amongst the Knights. Your purpose is who you were, that is something that you knew would never change and you liked it that way. But the force had other plans, your body's purpose finally came into light and you knew you couldn't walk away from this. You were a content knight, who took pride in her work. And this... well this was also the work of a knight, a female knight.Y/N - Your name"    " - double quotes are dialogue and external speech'    ' - single quotes are internal thoughts and internal monologues.





	1. Chapter 1

You were a content person. Well, at least as much as you could be. Being the only female knight amidst the Knights of Ren, you were pretty content. There were seven of you, there was Aster, Tyrian, Reign, Pyres, Gruoch, and your meticulous master, Kylo Ren. Then there was you, Lady Ren. Your actual name was Y/N, but for professional reasons, everyone referred to you as Lady Ren. 

 

You stepped off the Knight’s command ship, heavily sighing after another successful raiding mission. Some stupid resistance sympathizers, took control of a First Order base and our job was to go get it back. Lord Ren thought it would be a good practice, but in all honesty it was a stupid mission the troopers could have done easily.

 

You and the Knights headed back to your shared quarters, Aster and Pyres still bickering on about who got the most kills, all you were hearing were two little brothers screaming at each other for not sharing a toy. Reign and Tyrian, walking side by side, going on about the mission stats being the two poised men they were, whilst Gruoch was whispering incoherent words to himself, and breathing down your neck.

 

Finally reaching your quarters, you graciously laid on the couch. While the rest of the knights headed off to their rooms to freshen up. You felt a heavy dip at the end of the couch and saw Grouch sitting down.

 

He began to remove your boots and placed them down by the end of the couch, “Thank you Gruoch.” He smiled your way, the big toothy grin with slightly yellowish teeth. You snorted and giggled, “Gruoch you look like a beast, go shower.” The hulk of a man simply furrowed his brows, “Gruoch? Hmm. Grouch.”

 

Yes, ‘Gruoch’, was the only thing his vocabulary extended to. You had always wondered why he was part of the knights, he never really fought or succumbed to violence until absolutely necessary. Either way, despite his coarse and sort of confused persona, he was a sweet beastly man-child that often kept you company.

 

You laid there on the couch, contemplating on how long this war would go on. You were tired, force… you were exhausted. It felt as if your whole life was spent, learning and fighting and training.

 

Anger began to seep through you, why couldn’t the Resistance just give up? Why can’t they understand that the First Order is trying to bring peace and prosperity to the galaxy? Why would someone want to the stop that? You sighed heavily again.

 

You got up and decided to head to the Knights meditating room. This was by far your most favorite room throughout the Finalizer. The room was rather simple, yet provided the quiet you needed right now.

 

You sat down on the all black padding, covering the floor and the walls. You inhaled and exhaled, seeking to go into deep meditation. After what seemed like minutes, actually a few hours late into the night, you were there in the all black void. Where your body was the only thing you could focus on, and you began your routinely ritual. Focusing your anger to your core, setting aside all sentimental things and focusing on the pure raw anger at the galaxy, the resistance, your family, and at Luke Skywalker…

 

You opened your eyes, slightly dizzy and numb from being in the same position for so long, but then... you felt him. “You know, even after all these years you still can’t sneak up on me.” You smirked slightly, looking straight ahead at the black padded wall.

 

Slowly you heard the thump of his heavy boots before they came into your peripheral vision. You kept your gaze at his legs, your face a neutral canvas. Then he sat in front of you, cross legged back hunched over and hands running through his hair. It seems that just like you, the great Kylo Ren was exhausted too.

 

“You look well Master.” You sarcastically said, making an observation at his stressing body language.

 

“Never better,” came his clipped response. You could sense his distress and let him be. After some time you both went off into your own meditative states. Both equally exhausted of the constant war.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren receives a new mission from Supreme Leader Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summer School is done. I'M BECK whether you like it or not ;)

Kylo opened his eyes expecting you to be still sitting there, however he was met with black padding. He sighed and left the knights compound, heading back to his quarters.

  
Just as he was about turn into his hallway, his communicator went off, “SLS, meeting.” Kylo groaned, wanting nothing more than to return to his room and head to bed.

  
So, he hastily made his way to the throne room. He walked in and knelt down on one knee, waiting for Leader Snokes holo to appear. Once he did Kylo rose, his hologram showing him seated on a throne like chair.

  
“Supreme Leader, you summoned me?”

  
“Kylo Ren. How are your knights?”

  
Kylo hesitated for a second, unsure of why Snoke was interested in their doings all of a sudden, “They are well, Supreme Leader, they just recently returned from a practice mission.”

  
“Hm. Good, it is best to keep them busy,” he replied, his mouth crinkling into a pursed shaped. “And you? Kylo Ren, how has your training been treating you?”

  
“Very good Supreme leader, I am grateful for what you have taught me. I can see and hear things that I never would’ve known if it weren’t for your training, thank you Supreme Leader.”

  
“Very well. I have an assignment for you. One that requires much more than just your physical being."

  
Kylo hesitated, unsure of what he was going to ask of him, "Yes, Supreme Leader. Anything."

  
"You're bloodline is perhaps the strongest amongst the force the galaxy has seen in quite some time. You are quite stronger than many before you."

  
Kylo held a serious face, enjoying the rare praise Supreme Leader was giving him. However, he knew exactly where the conversation was heading. "Supreme Leader... I thought the Sith and Jedi were supposed to be celibate."

  
"We are no sith, nor Jedi Kylo Ren. I also know you did not take part in that rule even as a young padawan at the academy."  
Kylo looked down, hiding his blush and recalling her.

  
"It is time you step into a greater world, beyond yourself."

  
"Supreme Leader, do you believe that's wise? I have never... I haven't the capacity to be compassionate... I don't think... I don't think I can. Who will be my child's bearer?"

  
"She must be force sensitive. The child that once was, I felt his great power before he was gone."

  
Kylo's lip twitched, forcing himself to forget those memories. "Supreme Leader, I truly believe I am inadequate for this task. Please, I need your guidance."

  
"The answer is closer than you think Kylo Ren, she has always been there." With that, his hologram faded out.

 

Kylo rushed back to his quarters, his hands shaking from clenching so hard. She? What she?

  
He opened the door using the force and threw his helmet off. Before he stormed into his room, he caught you asleep on his couch. He smirked to himself, 'Gruoch's snoring again.'

  
"Damn right he is." You croaked out, hearing him project.

  
Kylo smiled, "You could've taken my bed you know. Hasn't stopped you before."

  
You opened your groggy eyes and sat up slowly, "If I did that, I would give you the luxury of sleeping on this surprisingly comfortable couch."

  
"Speak for yourself," Kylo responded looking down at her slumping frame. "What's wrong?"

  
"Hm? Nothing, just tired," you absentmindedly said. 

  
As much as Kylo wanted to let that go, he knew those words meant a lot coming from your mouth.

  
You looked up at Kylo. You saw his weary eyes, circled by haunting dark circles and pure exhaustion. And that scar, what was just a little scratch but actually a reminder of his failure.

  
You didn't know why, but your eyes began to well up.

  
Kylo watched you look up him and he stared down at you. He watched you study him for a second, then saw your eyes turn red and eventually tear up.  
"Y/N, what's wrong? Tell me," he knelt down in front of you and held your biceps as your eyes dripped thick hot tears.

  
"I'm just tired." You responded, your voice a shaky whisper and croaky. You sniffled quietly and wiped a tear from your right cheek. You wrapped your arms around him as he picked you up and led you to his bed.

  
He gently laid you down, and starting ridding himself of his layers, down to a simple black tank and black pants.

  
He snuggled you up close to him and cooed you asleep. Little did he know you hadn't slept in four days and you were losing your mind.

  
You slowly fell asleep, hearing the sound of his steady heartbeat. Kylo looked down at your asleep body, he was suddenly reminded of the old days when you would hold him during one of his difficult nights and put him to sleep.

  
She has always been there. Kylo's lower lip trembled as he inhaled a shaky breath. He stroked her hair, "It is you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't get it...  
> KYLO HAD A BEBY BEFORE BUT HE LOST
> 
> Plot is developing kids just hold on. Lots of backstory stuff to come soon ;)  
> I'll be updating more often now, summer school was kicking my booty cheeks :'(


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, but for good reason.  
> Ben Solo's backstory kids, some what theoretical, some what made to fit the story.

Ben Solo was a quiet and observant padawan at his uncle's Jedi academy. He was much older than most padawans for one, and he stood out like a tree even as a young teen against the little ewok sized kids. There were a few others that were about four years younger, but they were still much younger than him maturity wise.

When he first arrived at his uncle's academy, he was only 14 cycles old. He was around 5'10, a skinny and lanky boy with hair that used to be thick. But his mom decided to trim it down, hating the 'mop that sits on his head.' Now he was stuck with his Rodian-like ears, protruding out wider than X-Wing wings.

Ben was his uncle's apprentice. Though Luke tried to focus on progressing his training, he still had an academy of children to teach. Ben's full potential wasn't being recognized.

He could always hear that eerie voice in the back of his mind, reminding him of is potential greatness. Ben knew, but he also knew Master Luke couldn't devote every second of his time towards him. There was an entire academy of close to fifty other padawans he had to take care of and Ben understood that.

Some seven years into his training, by the time Ben was around twenty-one cycles, he grew into a good-looking man. He had grown to almost 6'3, his hair had finally grown to his jawline covering his massive ear and his body was finally more than just skin and bones, filling out to well defined muscles. For the past seven years, Ben had been secluded from the other padawans, his training was more advanced and Master Luke didn't want the other padawans getting jealous.

But as of lately, now that Ben's training was getting more and more closer to being finished, he was allowed more time with the younger padawans and helping them train. So, this was finally his time to talk to kids he had seen running around, while he would be meditating.

He usually helped out the little kids practice levitating rocks and objects. He found them fun to work with, there was something about their innocence and lack of censorship that Ben loved.

About two weeks in, Ben was helping a younger padawan named Aster levitate a heavy rock. After a few tries he caught on pretty quickly, Ben smiled and congratulated him ruffling Aster's dirty blond hair.

Ben stepped back to observe the kids sitting on the grassy plains. His gaze stopped on her. Her tanned exotic skin, dark lengthy walnut hair, her intoxicating smile. He knew her, he saw her practicing with Master Luke a few times, she was only three years younger than Ben.

She sat with a small boy, helping him levitate giggling every now and then at his frustration. Ben couldn't stop staring at her, basking in her blissful giggle. The girls head lifted, Ben quickly looked elsewhere.

About thirty seconds later, she was making her way to him. Ben inhaled deeply, clearly not ready for a conversation.

"Hey. You're Ben right?" she stood in front of him, her hands clasped upfront innocently of her darker brown robes, accentuating her curves with a dark cape like material hanging around her shoulders

"Uh, yeah. Ben Solo," he responded trying to remain neutral, his hand fidgeting with the edge of his sandy coloured robes.

"Yeah I've seen you training with Master Luke. How come you stay in separate dorms than everyone else? I mean you don't look much older than me."

"Master Luke wanted my training to be solidary, but he has become more lenient recently."

"Must be lonely, I imagine. I've got a separate dorm as well, but there are a few girls a year younger in my sector." She replied, sounding a little solemn.

"You don't like being alone do you?" Ben asked quietly.

"Is it that obvious? I understand the Jedi say attachment is forbidden, but it's just sharing dorms."

Ben chuckled slightly, "A lot of kids here are at an age, where the opposite sex is... distracting."

"Oh sorry. Am I distracting?" Ben's heart skipped a beat as he watched her head drop.

Ben's eyes widened, "No! That’s not what I meant. It's just... we're just talking... with co-ed rooms... it's like weird..."

There was that giggle, Ben looked down at her completely mesmerized by that sound, "Yeah, I know what you mean, you're right. I'm Cestrum by the way. I'm in the east wing last door down the hall. If you’re ever looking for some company come drop by, we could play sabacc or something."

She waved goodbye, and headed into the temple. Ben stood there, stunned by her bluntness. But what really caught him off guard was the final thought she unintentionally projected from her mind, 'He's cute.'

Ben smirked looking down at the ground, he felt a strange tingling sensation in his stomach.

The next day Ben headed back to the plains with the little children in hopes of seeing Cestrum again. As the afternoon rolled around, Cestrum still hadn't shown up. Ben was starting to think she was just a dream he had, as he took the kids inside away from the heat. He settled the overheated children in the resting tents of the east wing.

Ben made his way to the girl’s dormitory in the east wing. As he walked down the narrow hall, a small crowd of girls about a year or two younger than Cestrum, almost ran into his large lanky form.

One of them bumped into his side and quickly looked up at him to apologize. In less then a second all their eyes were at him gawking, mouths agape at him.

Ben could hear their thoughts, all of them which consisted of his attractiveness. One particularly stood out, 'where have you been all these years?'

Ben looked at the girl who thought that, she was an innocent looking girl. Her (y/h/l) (y/h/c) hair, her (y/h) form. You seemed like a fighter by your figure.

Ben bit back the smirk pulling on his face, "Uh sorry... Do you know where Cestrum is?"

You gulped at his beauty, stuttering as you replied, "She's uh down the hall... last door."

Ben walked towards Cestrum, smiling to himself at the reactions he was getting from girls.

You watched as he walked away, your friends giggling and pulling you away as you headed to the mess hall.

Ben stood at her door, hesitant to knock. He eventually conjured the confidence and knocked quietly at her door. 

He waited at her door for a few minutes. He heard nothing and decided to knock once more then head back. Just as he was about to knock once more, "HEY!" She shouted at the top of her lungs startling the soul out of Ben.

Ben turned around to see her giggling and holding her stomach. His eyes were wide, confused at what just happened. "Oh force. The look on your face was amazing." She giggled quietly and wiped tears from her eyes.

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed at how startled he got. She latched onto his arm giggling slightly and pushed her door open and headed inside. She sat Ben down on her bed, in the simple room similar to his in Uncle Luke's house.

Ben was still a little startled, and Cestrum noticed, she still had a smile on her face from the events earlier. She was standing infront of him as he sat on her bed observing her simplistic room, her hand holding his.

Ben was shaken from his trance and noticed Cestrum holding his hand. He looked up at her and saw her smiling staring at their hands, "I didn't get that startled."

Cestrum laughed letting go of his hands and headed to the sink filling up a glass of water for him, "HA! Yeah right. I scared you Solo and you know it."

"Did you just call me Solo?" Ben said before he downed the water.

Cestrum plopped down on the bed in front of him. "So, what were you doing in front of my room midday?"

"Oh uh. I just came to uh.. the kids in the rest tents... the heat was, its hot today."

Cestrum smiled lightly as she took his massive hand and absentmindedly traced patterns. Ben watched her fidget with his hands and mess around with his fingers with her small yet slightly plump fingers. Her nails grown and shaped beautifully creating the illusion of long fingers.

"What are you doing tonight?" Cestrum asked as she tapped her nails on the tips of his fingers.

Ben hesitated, he could sense strange feelings stirring within him... feelings Uncle Luke had warned him about. Ben looked up at her, her slightly pursed plush pink lips, her lengthy lashes looking down at his hands, that were being tapped on lightly and tickled by her nails.

Cestrum looked up at Ben to find him staring at her playing with his fingers. She met his gaze and was trapped in his dark orbs. She saw the world in his eyes, hidden by long black lashes, on a face so beautifully peppered with moles and imperfections.

Cestrum's fingers entangled with Ben's, a shocking feeling crossed between the two. The two were still staring into each other’s eyes, Cestrum began to lean towards Ben almost as if in a trance.

Her hand untangled itself from Ben's, reaching to grab his shoulder to sit atop his lap and straddle him. Once she was fully sat in his lap without breaking their eye contact, Ben sat straighter and wrapped his hands around her lower back. Cestrum raised her hands entangled them in his hair.

She leaned forward, closing her eyes, and placed a steady kiss on his lips, she sucked once more on his bottom lip waiting for him to reciprocate. Cestrum opened her eyes and saw Ben staring at her, his mouth slightly agape.

Cestrum's eyes widened as she quickly lifted off his lap and ran to her refresher. She closed the door and slid down onto the flor, her breath trembling from what just happened.

Ben stood on the opposite side of the door, hearing her soft whimpers and shaky breaths. "I'm sorry... we aren't allowed to do this."

Cestrum dropped a tear, 'He's so kind.'

Ben left her quarters confused for one, and feeling slightly aroused. He shook his mind from such thoughts, reminding himself that passion is forbidden.

The next few days, the days were obscenely hot. Ben continued his routine of training the kids and resting in the east wing tents, midday. As much as he shouldn't have been wanting to, he was hoping Cestrum would come. The truth was he hadn't stopped thinking about her since the first day they met, it was strange he had never seen her here before.

About a week in, training was canceled for the day for the young padawans because of the heat. Ben lounged in his bed, levitating a couple books around the room, Cestrum still on his mind. He closed his eyes and recalled that night, her soft lips gently suckling on his bottom lip, the way she sat perfectly in his lap and how perfectly her hand fit into his massive one.

Ben inhaled deeply opening his eyes, throwing the books into the corner. He decided to meditate, he had to get rid of these thoughts.

About twenty minutes into his midday meditation, he heard the shriveled voice. "She can be yours... you know you want her Ben Solo and she does too, don't deny her. She's waiting... go."

Ben suddenly jolted from his meditation state. His teeth gritted, he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted... no he needed her. A tinge of slight yellow flickered in his eyes, as he hastily made his way to the east wing. There were no girls around, just what he needed, no one could hear them.

Ben stood at her door, breathing heavily, he knocked on her door and waited. She opened the door and her eyes went wide.

"Ben? What are you doing here? I thought..."

Ben let himself in, Cestrum observed his wild state, his ragged breathing and disarrayed jet-black hair hanging in front of his face. Cestrum closed the door, and steadily made her way to Ben, she held him by his arms as his breathing became calmer. She looked up at him, his face hidden behind his luscious hair.

She carefully reached her hands up to his hair and removed a strand away from where his eyes were.

Ben watched as she slowly fixed his hair, his eyes softened at her, she looked so innocent. The slight tinge of yellow disappeared as fast as it came.

Cestrum walked Ben to her bed and sat him down, holding his biceps as she looked down at him, "Ben. What happened?"

Ben's looked up at her, she was too good for him, "I shouldn't have left you that night... I should have taken care of you."

Cestrum's eyes teared slightly, her bottom lip quivered, she turned away in shame, "No I was wrong to do such things. I know you've devoted your life to being a Jedi Knight... I can't stand in the way of that... I can't even imagine what that must be like. I've only been here for two weeks... and I'm already weak."

Ben stood from her bed, and slowly walked towards her. From behind, he wrapped his arms around her, and slowly turned her around. He was met with red eyes and thick tears falling from her face.

Ben held her soft face in his large calloused hands, he slowly reached down to kiss away the tears fallen down to her cheek.

He bent down and let his arms drape down to her thighs before he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

Cestrum gasped as he lifted her like she weighed nothing. She quickly grabbed on to his biceps, enjoying how hard they were.

He carefully laid her on the bed, still not having broken eye contact. He slipped one arm underneath her mid back making her arch into him and making him harden.

Cestrum gasped as she felt his manhood harden and touch her down there, in between their clothing. Ben breathed into her mouth as he felt how warm she was down there, he thrusted his clothed self into her, as he watched her eyes roll back and her breath get caught.

Ben couldn't hold back anymore, he quickly untangled himself and started stripping himself of his layers. Cestrum sat up and began to do the same, until the two were left in their undergarments.

Ben threw his clothing to the side as Cestrum threw hers to the corner of the room. Cestrum inhaled heavily and swallowed her watering mouth at the sight of his manhood. She observed his bulky yet so muscular form, there was not an angle of his body that was not defined with muscles from years of strenuous training. His pale white body contrasting the jet-black hair atop his head and the streak of hair running down his belly down to his manhood.

Ben's eyes glued to Cestrum's womanly figure on the bed, her volumptious breasts hanging pleading to be touched, her hips spread wider from sitting. He stalked towards her, towering over her.

"Ben..." Her soft sweet whisper broke the silence between them. Ben laid her down gently, her long walnut hair spreading around her. "I want you to know.." she gulped heavily, a tear prickling down her cheek from frustration, "It's my first time."

Ben's eyes prickled as well, he looked away slightly and gently whispered, "Me too."

With Ben hovering over Cestrum, she wiggled her hands from underneath and cupped his face, turning it towards her. "Together?"

Ben looked at her, "Together."

He kissed her passionately, a deep kiss with tongues swirling about. Ben pulled away, getting on the bed and adjusting himself at her entrance. He laid himself atop her,  balancing on his left forearm as the right arm slid under her lower back.

He looked deep into her eyes searching for any hesitation, "Ready?"

Cestrum's eyes dropped a tear, "Yes."

Ben slowly put the head, still keeping his eyes on her. He watched her head fall back and her eyes roll back, her mouth turning into a 'o' as a loud gasp escaped her mouth. Her forehead crinkled, as a few tears fell out of her eyes.

"Ben... please tell me there isn’t anymore." Cestrum strained out.

Ben looked down and smirked, he had just his head in. He leaned down and kissed her softly pecking her soft face and lips. He puckered her bottom lip as he slowly started entering her even more.

Cestrum was enjoying the soft pecks of kisses he was leaving on her, despite the throbbing feeling down there. She couldn't take anymore of him, she was certain something would shatter down there from how full she was feeling. Then she slowly felt more of him entering her.

Her face scrunched up, "Ben!" He immediately stopped afraid he had hurt her.

"Should I stop?" He asked as he held her tightly against himself.

Cestrum was silently sobbing, unsure of how much more she could take. "No... keep going."

"Cestrum..." Ben softly said, as he stared at her teared face.

"No. Keep going, I want you." Cestrum opened her red teary eyes.

Ben rested his forehead against her, holding her tight as possible. He slowly began to enter her again, but abruptly stopped as he felt her wall. He gulped, he had learned a few things from the older boys that would attend the senate meetings his mom used to take him to. "Cestrum... this going to hurt. I promise I'll take care of you."

Cestrum looked up at Ben, she was nervous from what was about to happen. This was even worse than the pains during her first bleed. Cestrum curled her toes, as Ben pushed slowly again and then she felt a tear inside. Her eyes widened as she felt his final thrust.

It threw her head back, already sweaty and disheveled, "BEN!" She grasped his biceps with a death grip.

Ben grit his teeth at how she was clenching him. At this rate, he wouldn't know how long he would last, at how desperate her clenches were becoming. Cestrum laid there, his full length and girth in him, she had never felt so full feeling him deep within her core.

Ben stayed there for a few minutes, waiting for Cestrum to adjust. She finally opened her eyes, and nodded her head, giving Ben permission to move.

He slowly came out, Cestrum gasped as she suddenly felt hollow as he went further and further away from her center. Then as slowly as he went out, he slowly came back in. Cestrum's eyes felt as if they were about to pop out of her skull, her eyes went wide as her head fell back exposing her neck.

Ben began setting a slow steady pace, he leaned down to the hollow of her neck and began sucking and licking in her crook. Ben couldn't hold on much longer and Cestrum was struggling to get past the pain.

After a few thrusts came in deep within her, coating her walls with himself. He laid himself beside her panting and sweaty body, still inside her. Ben exhaled heavily, exhausted from the activities. He looked down and slowly slid himself out of her, Cestrum gasped loudly as he left her letting out a soft 'no.'

As soon as Ben left her body with a pop, an electrifying surge of energy ran between the two that left them holding each other panting. Ben pulled back after the strange sensation, and looked at Cestrum's confused face.

"Ben? What was that?" Cestrum asked quietly.

"I.. I don’t know." Ben replied kissing her softly.

The two spent the afternoon napping together...

The next few weeks were spent the same, Ben would leave the kids in the tents to rest midday. Then make his way to Cestrum to continue their activates or to simply relax.

One evening, Ben was meditating with Luke in their garden of the shared home. Luke couldn't help but observe his nephew's 'happier' state as of the last few weeks. "Ben."

Ben opened his eyes, "Yes Uncle Luke."

"How are you?"

Ben had a suspicious and confused look on his face, "Uh fine? I guess."

Luke chuckled, "You look just like Han making that face."

Ben looked away at that name. "Hm. Yeah I suppose."

"What have you been up to lately, you seem more content?"

Ben kept his gaze down, masking his true feelings. "I've been enjoying training with the younger kids." There was no lie in that, he really did enjoy the company of the kids. "I like that kid, Aster. He's progressing fast."  
  
"Hm... It's a shame. His progression is coming from the wrong power."

Ben was shocked at the accusation his Uncle was making towards a child, "Uncle... he's just a kid."

"There's no exception."

Ben decided to ignore his comment. Assuming it was perhaps an old man's crankiness causing these emotions within his uncle.

A good month has passed since that conversation. Ben has been trying his best to be involved in the future of training the younger padawans. Suggesting things to his Uncle, who constantly kept shutting him down. Their opinions constantly conflicting, despite some of Ben's ideas being valid.

One of the few that caused heated arguments was talk of the grey Jedi. Ben had read in some of the old lore, talk about those who couldn't be found on either side but a perfect balance of the both. Ben had recognized that some of the younger kids, used emotions that were driven by the dark side to train. And Ben had seen from firsthand what such emotions could add to one's training. Though he never mentioned to Luke, he had used such power and experienced that power.

Luke, as usual shut him down. Hiding away such books from him, deeming them as 'misleading,' Ben was thankful he was able to train on his own now, because he wasn't sure how long he could keep up with his Uncle's bickering.

One morning, Ben woke to a strange and inconsistent throbbing sensation in his head. He continued about his day in a sour mood. Aster came to Ben and sensed he wasn't feeling well.

"Mister Ben," He gently tugged on Bens robes. Ben crouched down to his level, a hand pressing against his temple.

"Yes Aster." Ben groaned, rubbing the right side of his temple. "What do you need?"

"I can feel you don't feel good." Ben smiled as he acknowledged Aster's skills.

"What do you think I should do about it Doctor Aster?" Ben said in childish voice.

Aster giggled, "We should go rest in the East Wing, because you're tired," he quickly added the last part. Aster leaned in and whispered in Ben's ear, "I really want the jam sandwiches."

Ben chuckled at Aster's secret desire. He stood up and lent his hand to Aster, who latched on and led the rest of the kids to the East Wing.

He settled the kids in and let the other padawans watch them, as he made his way to Cestrum. The pain in his head getting worse every step he took. By the time he got to her door, his vision was fading. He banged his massive arm on her door, as the door opened he found you standing there. You quickly yelled for Cestrum, grabbing Bens arm and guiding him towards the bed.

Cestrum and you had been relaxing after a long morning of sparring, talking about your past lives before the Jedi academy. When you heard the loud banging you were startled, Cestrum was in the washroom and you had to think about opening the door, afraid of who would bang so loud.

When you did you saw him. You didn't have much time to think about why he would be coming Cestrum’s room unannounced. Cestrum came running out, and quickly came to Ben's aid.

Cestrum found Ben in a woozy state, assuming it was the heat. She got him some water and helped him drink some.

You watched how kindly she took care of him... an uneasy feeling setting in your stomach, a feeling of jealousy... you quickly exited the room, assuming the two needed privacy,

Cestrum sat Ben up, holding his face, "Ben, what's wrong?"

Ben's eyes were woozy the room was a strange blue hue, he could see a bright red light coming from right in front of him. He reached out and touched it, and the throbbing in his head faded, instead he heard a steady heartbeat.

Cestrum watched as Ben's eyes looked around as if he wasn't conscious of the world he was currently in. Suddenly, his hand reached out and touched her belly, and she heard the heartbeat.

The soft yet expressive heartbeat... a heartbeat that wasn't hers...

Ben sat up, awakening from his disorientated state, he looked down at his hand touching Cestrum's belly. Cestrum's mouth was agape, as tears spilled from her eyes.

"I'm late. Ben, I haven't bled... I'm three weeks over... Ben what do I do?"

Ben laid her down beside him on the bed, holding her as she sobbed into his chest. He was left choice less... he would have to tell Luke.

Later that evening as Ben was practicing mind penetration with Luke, his uncle sensed Ben's distress. Ben looked away in shame as he began to explain what had happened. Ben could sense his uncle's disapproval and disappointment. His uncle told him to go and meditate as he thought of a solution.

That night Ben's sleep was plagued with nightmares, nightmares he couldn't wake himself from. The next few days Luke had forbidden him from visiting the East wing, suggesting giving Cestrum time to process the information that Luke had given her.

Ben trusted Luke and followed his advice. On his fifth day of abstaining, midday he heard loud banging on the front door of the house, followed by shouting of his name. It wasn't Cestrum’s voice.

Ben opened the door and in you barged, pushing his large form out of the way and turning to face him with a red pursed faced.

“WHERE IS SHE?!”

Ben looked at her with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“CESTRUM? Where is she? You and I were the only ones that spoke to her and a month in, she’s missing? WHERE IS SHE!?” You stared at him with tears in your eyes and your gritted teeth.

Ben stood there in confusion unsure of what to do. “I don’t… I never meant... What do I do?”

Cestrum’s fists clenched, as she rushed forward and starting throwing her hands and hitting Ben’s chest, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO! Ben… You didn’t know her like I did…”

Ben broke out of his trance, shocked at this revelation. He looked down at your hands grasping his robes while your body shook with sobs, he held your biceps trying to calm you down. “Go back to your dorm. Don’t say a word, don’t tell anyone why you’re crying… Just go straight to bed.”

That night Ben meditated, and he heard the old wretched voice, “You know who took her, don’t be a fool Ben Solo… Confront him.”

 Ben jolted awake from his meditation and hastily made his way to his uncle. He found his uncle meditating in his room. “Uncle Luke… I know.”

Ben had been trying to reach out to her and sense her location, though he felt her presence he couldn’t sense her location. “Please… Where is she? I know what we did wasn’t right…”

“It is forbidden.” Luke’s voice boomed through his empty room. Ben stood there watching his uncle’s back in shame.

“I understand. Uncle Luke… she has my child. My unborn child, I have to know where she is.”

“What’s done, is done. She’ll be taken care of and when the time comes her child will come to us, to be trained.”

“Come to us? I want to raise my child! I want to father my child!”

“BEN!”

Ben stepped back, his eyes dropping thick tears. He looked at his uncle, now standing and breathing heavily. “Attachments are forbidden… you will forget about her.”

Ben grit his teeth and made his way out of the house, to the east wing. He quietly made his way to her room. As he walked in, he found you laying on her bed, “She became like a sister to me… She helped with the voice. I know. I know you hear his voice too.”

“What does he say to you?”

“The truth.” You responded quietly, ashamed of what your answer was.

“I don’t know where to look for her.”

“If she wanted… she would’ve resisted and you would’ve known. You pick up on emotions, I can tell. You would’ve known…”

“So, what do I do? Just let the mother of my child rot away somewhere, along with my child? I plan on being apart of their lives, unlike mine.”

You head turned at that last part. You found Ben standing in the middle of the room, his head fallen like a sad pup and his mop of hair covering his tear struck face.

The two didn’t say much, quietly observing the things she left behind. Ben eventually left to return to his Uncle. As he stood outside of his home, he contemplated on returning to his room or speaking to his uncle.

Right as Ben was about to enter the house, he fell to his knees as a sharp pain seared through his heart and eventually down to his abdomen. His whole body was shaking from the shear amount of pain his body was experiencing, his difficulty in breathing and his vision having gone black from the intolerable torture he was feeling.

The next morning Ben rose in his room, he quickly meditated reaching out for Cestrum, hoping to feel her in the force. When he didn’t sense her or the child, he knew what had happened.

Luke walked in to see Ben sitting on his bed, his face neutral as ever as tears fell through his eyes. “She’s dead, isn’t she?”

Luke never did properly respond to Ben, nor did he ever confront him about his feelings for her. Ben never mentioned her again and emotionally strayed away from his uncle.

Another month passed, and that voice in Ben and your head became more prominent and clear. It became transparent that after the loss of Cestrum, Ben was never the same.

When the eve came of the mass Padawan murder at the Jedi temple. Ben’s darkened eyes looked down at you as he held your face, “For Cestrum.”

You simply nodded your head, as you headed away from the ship where Aster was asleep and into the temple… to do your duties given by Supreme Leader Snoke.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Luke watched from his ship as the temple burned down along with all the padawans. “I’m sorry Cestrum.” He quietly spoke to himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOH! This took too long to write... BUT ITS DONE!
> 
> Sorry for the wait and any grammatical errors! But yeah this is what my interpretation to some extent is of how Ben Solo went to the dark side. 
> 
> Now what I didn't want to directly imply, simply because it would add a whole other level of 'chemistry' between reader and Kylo. Is the fact that between the month that Cestrum had died and the mass murder. Reader and Kylo do get close, however I didn't want to include that because it adds the fact that they both connected through Cestrum. 
> 
> And that is a no-no. I wanted reader and Kylo to be 'intertwined' through individual destinies, not because of tragedy bringing them together. So yes it should've happened, but I didn't include that in the backstory of Ben. In a way they were introduced to each other through Cestrum...but their lives continue because of their allegiances.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, Next chapter will be up soon, I'll be posting as soon as I finish chapters so there won't be scheduled postings, but hopefully one a week ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to present day with reader and Kylo waking up. With Kylo's new mission in mind, he approaches you with the topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola kids! I'm a slow writer, sorry!

You woke up feeling as if you had slept for a hundred cycles, feeling rejuvenated as if you had been given a new body. You opened your eyes slowly to find a dim light on, in the corner of the steel grey room. The black satin sheets under your back, which was currently submerged into a plushy bed. You suddenly sat upright, realizing you slept in his bed again.

You groaned falling back down onto the bed, mentally snarling at Gruoch’s snoring. You would think the Order would invest in some thicker walls. As you laid there, lost in your thoughts, it was his quiet yet loud breathing behind you, that made you remember what happened last night.

The last days had been the true embodiment of hell, you hadn’t slept for more than an hour every night and yesterday you were beginning to have hallucinations… of her. You shook your head from those thoughts, turning your body around to face Kylo. He was sprawled out covering more than half his enormous bed, his head turned to the side with his jet-black hair covering half of his pale freckled face.

The blanket was covering only his legs and below, his lean and muscular torso was exposed to you. You couldn’t help but let your eyes travel up and down his form, admiring how the years of training have built him so well and so manly. You bit your lip trying to suppress your urges.

“You’re projecting… and this is exactly why I stopped letting you sleep in my room, you freaky girl.” Kylo’s croaky voice boomed, as his eyes remained shut.

You grinned devilishly, snickering quietly, “How bout you sleep with a shirt, hm?

Kylo sat up on his forearm as he looked down at you. He reached out a hand and put a stray hair on your face behind you ear, then proceeded to cup your cheek. “Y/n…”

You stared back into his eyes, lost in the intensity of them. “Y/n, I have a new mission.” You begin to rub your eyes as Kylo spoke, whilst he was still cupping your cheek and slightly rubbing it.

“That’s good. I hope it’s at Coruscant. I liked that wine you brought me.” Kylo smiled, adoring how little it took to please you.

“No, I don’t have to leave for this mission.” Kylo slowly began to rub your hair, massaging your scalp. “This mission is for me and you,” you pricked the skin on his hand that was in your hair, as he gritted his teeth behind his lips at you. “Stop petting me,” you grinned back at the satisfaction of annoying him.

“A mission for us? From supreme leader or…”

“Yes, a task for us, together.” Kylo responded.

“Well are you going to tell me this task?” You raise an eyebrow at him, clearly sensing his maneuvering around the subject. “Just tell me.”

“I have to continue my bloodline, and it has to be with a force sensitive woman… The child before… he was powerful, supreme leader sensed him.”

You looked away from his face, as tears pricked your eyes, “Him? He was a boy.”

Kylo looked down as his forehead crinkled, a lump forming in his throat. “I loved her too. I know her heart belonged to you, Kylo… But I really did love her,”

Kylo looked up at you, straining to not cry in front of him and on this topic. “Will you help me Y/N?”

You looked at him intensely, holding back tears. You suddenly felt your anger rising, you rose of his bed and began to circle his bed staring at him, “I am a knight. My purpose was and always will be to serve you, my master. I have trained my whole life to fight, to eliminate efficiently and effectively, without remorse. I have dedicated my entire my life to becoming stronger and powerful, and you think I am going to submit and willingly make myself vulnerable by bearing a child? I maybe a woman, but my celibacy through knightship is what comes first… Not my feminine abilities.”

By the time you finished your little speech, you had circled the bed all the way to Kylo and were now staring down at him, breathing heavily through your flaring nostrils. Kylo smirked, truly appreciating just how much of a strong headed woman you are. Kylo threw his feet off his bed and sat in front of you holding your hands. “You wish to serve me, your master. Then serve me. I order you this mission and you deny me? You misunderstand me Y/N. It is because of your strength and power that I want you to bear my child, just imagine the power it will hold having you and me being its creators, you and I. There aren’t any women out there anymore, that could ever bear my child. Only you.”

You yanked your hands from him, and heard him exhale shakily and loudly. “Do you understand the kind of vulnerability that is associated with pregnancy? I may not be weak. But everyone will perceive me as weak!”

Kylo rose from his bed, “Do you understand the honour I’m trying to bestow upon you?!”

“Honour? HONOUR! Have you not been listening to a single word I’ve said to you? How exactly is my vulnerability an HONOURABLE bestowing!? Do you realize what I will have to sacrifice? Years of abstinence! Years of proving that I am strong! My sole devotion has been to become a successful knight and you think this is honour?”

Kylo exhaled, running a hand through his hair, “I have to get ready for a meeting soon. Y/N, Supreme Leader recognizes your immense strength and devotion… He wants you to bear my child as well. I need you to think on this. It can only be you.”

You stood with your back facing him trying to defy anything he says. As he began going about his room getting ready, you began to pace around the room.

‘This isn’t my duty… I was never trained to do this. Does he not know where I come from? How offensive that simple supposed mission is to me. Well how could he… Master Luke respected your privacy about the past. You swore to yourself you wouldn’t go down that path, the path where you would become a mother and nothing but a vessel made to birth children. Not like your putrid mother.’

“Kylo.” You quietly called out to him, after your internal battle.

Kylo came out of his closet dressed in his usual garb, save his helmet. You sat yourself on his bed criss- cross, preparing for how you would tell him.

“I know you think I’m being excessively reluctant, and I know I am as well. But you need to understand, I swore to myself many years ago, I wouldn’t let anyone impregnate me. You see its because…” You gulped heavily, unsure if you were ready to live this tale again.

Kylo pulled up a small couch in the corner of his bed room and sat across from you holding your hands. “Y/N please tell me… I need to know, I want to help you.”

You looked up into his eyes, there was true sincerity in them. Your shoulders slumped as you leaned forward slightly. “I don’t know exactly what planet I was on, but I know the infertility rate of our society was high, my mother was one of the few fertile women,” your bottom lip trembled. Kylo squeezed your hands, the only thing that was keeping you braced was him. You looked up at him, finding him staring at you with curiosity.

You inhaled heavily and continued, “One night when I laid with her asleep, a man came in… and he raped her.” Your eyes shed a tear as your breathing becomes more quickened and uneven. “He saw me asleep on her bed and he still went about. After he finished, he called her a whore and stated that she was just a vessel made to please men, he looked my way again and said I would be the same… I was only seven… Kylo, how do you do and say that in front of a child?” Your eyes were red as your body shook from anger.

“Y/N I never knew,” Kylo watched as you stared off into the distance, your anger boiling inside of you. “Listen to me. What I am asking of you, is completely your choice. It will be consensual, your title and your respect will never be wavered in any way… Y/N I know you know that’s true. What Supreme Leader Snoke and I are asking of you is sacred, please I need you to consider this.”

You considered his words, you did know deep down that your honour and name wouldn’t be affected by your circumstance. Kylo rubbed your hands then proceeded to leave his chambers to start his work day.

You sat on his bed, deep in contemplation. ‘Supreme Leader Snoke was asking me of this… Asking? There was no way he was asking… Kylo must be naïve to think Snoke would ever ask for something. Asking implies the possibility of being denied, and Supreme Leader Snoke was never denied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader's strong headed, clearly. I mean she's a knight, and she has spent years defeminizing herself (is that a word? I just made a word) and becoming this knight who isn't recognized by her gender, but by her accomplishments. So, for Kylo to bring up this concept that completely feminizes her once more, goes against everything she believes in... yet almost become a mission directly from Snoke. Well things get tricky there. 
> 
> Okay that whole birth mother situation... kind of a mix between this other kylo ren/reader fic based off the giver, which I can't remember! And also a mix of the Handmaid's Tale, which I absolutely love!
> 
> AND AHH I JUST WATCHED THE INTERVIEW WITH SETH MEYERS AND ADAM AND OUR BABY LOOKS SO HEALTHY AND STRONG AND DAPPER AND BEAUTIFUL...
> 
> yes I missed him very much


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna as get as many chapters as I can out there. So here's another one. ;)
> 
> NSFW AHEAD!! The smut's here ;)))))

You fell back onto your bed in your chambers. It was late in the evening, you had finally showered and got ridden of all the sweat and grime from the day spent training sparring with the other knights. Your door swung open as a giggling Aster and fuming Pyres stood at your door. You smirked to yourself knowing exactly why the two were here.

“Lady Ren, Aster is completely adamant that you let me win today, in our final session of sparring,” Pyres stood across you as you sat on the bed trying to hold back your laughter.

You stared at Aster behind, who had a massive smile on his face and a raised eyebrow at you. You smiled, “I did Pyres.”

Pyres’ mouth dropped as he began babbling as Aster began laughing loudly and uncontrollably, you grinned as well. “Pyres you know well enough you were tired and your form was becoming sloppy. I thoroughly enjoyed watching you use raw power though, perhaps Aster… you should learn a thing or two from Pyres.”

Pyres grinned at Aster, as Aster’s face dropped. You chuckled slightly, as you got up and grabbed both of their arms and dragged them out of your room, “Now to go bed, and let me get some sleep.”

You settled yourself into bed, and stared up at the ceiling. It was the same as so many nights before. The same grey steel with the light sticking out every other tile. You tried to will yourself to sleep, but you just couldn’t, your body was crying for rest but your mind was fighting it. You knew why you couldn’t sleep… and it wasn’t because of Gruoch’s snoring.

Before you knew it, you were standing in front of Kylo’s bedroom door, you were about to knock when you heard his voice, “Just come in, I know you’re there.” You had a slight frown on your face, as you settled into his bed. Kylo was on his bed on his data pad, still shirtless and underneath the blanket.

You laid down and stared up at his ceiling. He set his data pad down and looked your way. You shuffled your way to him throwing a leg over his legs, and arm around his massive chest as you cuddled him. “Hold me.”

Kylo rolled his head back, “Y/N we can’t do this... you know...”

“I know…just hold me. Hold me like we used to back when we lost her.”

Kylo adjusted his back off the head board and laid down by you cradling your head with his arm. He sighed heavily, “Y/N, have you… have you thought about it?” He whispered quietly afraid of ruining the moment.

You closed your eyes, as you inhaled his musky scent… he had just showered. Your hand went to his massive pec, and placed a hand over his beating heart. His skin was smooth and you could feel his heart beat thumping through his thick skin. You, for unknown reasons, leaned into his chest and placed a kiss near his heart then leaned your forehead into his warm chest. “Yes. I will,” your voice was barely above a whisper as you replied.

Kylo chuckled quietly then leaned down to kiss your forehead, “I knew I could trust you, I promise I’ll take care of you, like I always have. You’ll be mine… and I’ll be yours.”

Kylo soon fell asleep as he made his declaration. You knew deep down, you didn’t have a choice, Supreme Leader would have forced him to bed you. Or that scavenger girl. You smiled softly, knowing Kylo would definitely bed her, he liked a powerful woman. After all being a powerful man, it only made sense.

The next morning…

You two arose around the same time, still entangled in each other’s arms. You pushed Kylos massive form off of your body, Kylo groaned and fell atop of you again. You giggled trying to speak from Kylos massive chest crushing yours, “Ahha, Kylo! Get off!”

Kylo rose himself on one forearm and looked down at your smiling face. He began to fiddle with your hair and play around with your edges, “Is your answer still the same?”

You inhaled slowly, looking up into his dark mysterious eyes, you quietly whispered yes to him. He smiled genuinely as one of his arms slipped underneath your back whilst the other cradled your neck, he rested his forehead against yours as the two of you shut your eyes.

“There will be a ceremony. Tonight, presumably. We will perform the ritual in front of Supreme Leader, for his blessing.” Kylo spoke quietly to you.

You opened your eyes as you looked at his serene face, “Kylo? Are you implying that we will have intercourse in front of Supreme Leader?”

“We will bind as one, and he will witness it.” Kylo responded moving to get out of bed. You gulped.

Kylo had given you the day off to prepare yourself, evening arrived and the rest of the knights shuffled in and about your shared quarters. You were meditating on your bed, when you felt Reign and Tyrian step into your room. You opened your eyes to see both of them smiling cheekily at you, you rolled your eyes as you smiled.

Reign sat at the corner of your bed, as Tyrian stood behind him. “You have a ceremony tonight, to whom?” Reign commented spotting the white sheet sitting at the edge of your bed. Kylo had given you that mid-morning, stating that would be wrapped around you graciously for the ceremony.

You looked down as you cleared your throat, “To Kylo Ren.”

“WHAT?!” The pair yelled out together. “Actually, I don’t know why I’m so shocked I have a bet with Pyres on this.” Reign replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Your jaw dropped as your brow furrowed, “Wow. I didn’t know you guys were so invested in my life,” as you raised an eyebrow.

“Relax there Princess Ren or is it Mrs. Ren? We all saw it coming.” Tyrian responded sarcastically.

“Well I didn’t. Did you guys have a ceremony?” You asked shyly.

“Yes, of course we did. This ritual is the only way two people can become one, bonded through pleasure,” Tyrian smirked as he looked down at Reign.

“Lady Ren, I know we’ve been taught to be celibate… and we know that you hold that dear to your heart. But Supreme Leader encourages it. Yeah, I know, I was surprised too when he told me, he explained that having a companion is a drive, a passionate drive. And honestly, it’s true. Every mission I know I have to stay alive for him, and he does for me.” Reign finished his little speech taking Tyrians hand and kissed it.

You smiled at the passion they held for each other. “And besides, Master is already so protective over you, it won’t be too hard being beside him, you already are.” Reign winked your way as he stood and left your room with Tyrian.

Your nerves seem to calm for bit after that conversation. You checked the time, Kylo was coming for you in about two hours. You laid on your bed, and stared at the white sheet; purity. ‘Does he know it’s my first time?’

You finished bathing and shaving yourself. You stood nude in front on your bed as the white sheet graciously covered your black sheets. You stared at the grace and the beauty of its simplicity, yet the true meaning that defied everything you wanted.

You ran your fingers along, the soft silk prickling against your calloused tips. You lifted one end of the white sheet and threw it over your shoulders letting a long strand drape with weight, so it didn’t slide off your breasts. You began to wrap the rest of the lengthy material around your bum and woman hood, once you finished you tucked the final end in the waistline.

It looked as if you wore a fancy dress, that showed off your legs, the sides of your stomach and more than half of your back. You let your hair down, enjoying the relaxation that came from having it up all the time.

You laid on the bed and sighed heavily, the butterflies coming back into your stomach, you looked at the time, suspecting Kylo to be here any minute. You listened for any indication of someone awake, but it seemed the knights were to bed already and you could hear Gruoch’s snoring.

After some time, you heard his thumping authoritative footsteps on the other side of your door, he softly knocked as you called out to him to come in. He stepped inside and quietly closed the door then hesitantly turned around to look at you. He was still in his full uniform, cape and all, save for the helmet.

The last time he saw a sight so beautiful, he was a young naïve boy, unable to hold on to something so perfect. But now it seems he was given another chance. He stood a few feet away from you, observing how your beautiful skin looked against the purity of the white sheet. He slowly walked towards, afraid of scaring you away like a beautiful creature in its natural habitat.

Kylo carried her bridal style to the throne room where they would meet supreme leader. Kylo walked into the room, down the long hall where the perched cushion was. He laid you down graciously on the cushion, reluctant to let you go. He laid you so the hologram would see you sideways, you laid there feeling sick in all parts of your body. Kylo’s gloved hands starting tugging your white sheet upwards to reveal your bare woman hood. Kylo closed his eyes and inhaled heavily, once his eyes opened you saw slight specks of yellow swirling about in irises; the adrenaline of lust. He grabbed a bottle of some wet liquid, and gently splattered some down there, you gasped at the strange sensations that were happening. Kylo smirked, “You’re gonna have to be quieter than that, when it actually happens.”

As he settled you down, he stood once more and turned towards where the hologram would be, “Supreme Leader we are ready.” The blue hologram flickered to life, intricately being shone on the massive throne.

Supreme Leader had one hand sitting on the arm rest as he rubbed his chin, “Very well.”

Kylo knelt down once more to sit in front of you. He unbuckled his pants bringing out his manhood already stiffened. You were struggling to hold back tears. Kylo placed a forearm beside your head as he stared deep into your eyes. “Kylo… I’ve never done this.” You whispered as quiet as a breath, afraid Snoke would hear.

Kylo nodded acknowledging that. He put his head near your entrance making you clench, as your throat stiffened at the feeling. Kylo’s cape meticulously covered both of your bodies molding your form into his and protecting you from the cold. Kylo turned his head sideways, waiting for Snoke.

“You may proceed.” His voice boomed through the entire empty throne room.

Kylo slowly began to enter as your breath caught in your throat. A tear spilled from your eye and fell down into your scalp, you had never felt such a fulfilling yet painful feeling ever. You whimpered slightly, Kylo looked into your eyes beckoning you to not make any noises. Your eyes rolled back, you felt like you were choking, he was an incredible length and girth, that seemed never ending.

When he finally entered you fully, you finally felt yourself take a breath. That still felt uncomfortable at how full your body was feeling with him inside. You were gasping quietly, as tears were oozing from your eyes, Kylo looked down at you struggling taking him fully. “I’ve got you.” Kylo quietly whispered into your ear as he leaned in the crook of your neck, “I’m gonna move now, okay?”

You nodded, with your eyes shut. Kylo looked down as he watched himself come out you… his manhood covered in blood, Kylo suddenly felt sympathetic. You felt him come out of you just as slowly, but this time, you didn’t want him to leave, you kept clenching around him begging for him to stop going out. Then he went back in at a faster pace, your mouth turned into an ‘o’ as your shut eyes, slipped many more tears that were now burning the side of your head. After a few more times of slowly coming in and out, Kylo began to pick up his pace at an uneven speed.

You were still getting accustomed to the feeling of feeling so full, you were trying to get past the pain his girth was tearing in you. Kylo finally came, as you felt him ooze inside of you, his come filling you up. He breathed heavily, the edges of his hair sticking to his forehead. Kylo stayed inside of you as he looked to his master.

“As of today Y/N, you are more than just Lady Ren. You are the wife of the Master of the Knights of Ren, your new title will be Mistress Ren. You are bound to Kylo Ren, till death do you apart, as Kylo is bound to you. You have my blessing. The child you will bear will be one of great power, take care of it.” With that, his holo disappeared.

You let a whimper as you opened your eyes leaking more tears. You looked up at Kylo, feeling helpless. He kissed your lips, slowly and passionately, savoring the taste of you as you exhaled into his mouth.

“You’re lucky I restrained Y/N.” Kylo said as he looked down at you, his eyes lost in your lust.

If Kylo Ren felt like that whilst restrained, you did not want to know what he felt like when he made animalistic sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO! That was fun to write. No shame here kids.. none at all.
> 
> But yaaayy, sexuals happening in front of Snoke? Yep.
> 
> Gay couple, Reign and Tyrian are experienced couples that will help reader with lots of shit in the future? Yep. 
> 
> And also that whole smut in front of Snoke, COMPLTELY INSPIRED BY THIS PICTURE, i dont know who to credit but you can see a signature on there. I found this really erotic yet so sexy, so I made it happen. 
> 
> NSFW PICTURE!!! DON"T OPEN IN PUBLIC NAKED SHIT.  
> https://68.media.tumblr.com/2c1595c4b246faf45faf6aebe6c8040b/tumblr_opxh1sO0zM1vmzhc5o1_1280.png


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY MORE SMUT TIME YAY!!  
> Slight time jump.

Kylo looked down at you after the ceremony. Your skin was glowing, a streak of sweat running down your forehead and down your breasts. Your eyes shut from exhaustion, as you breathed long deep breaths. Kylo leaned down to kiss you again, truly savouring how lucky he was to have someone be his again. He sucked on your bottom lip, as you tried to reciprocate, but were too exhausted.

Kylo finally felt himself go soft, and came out of her with a pop, and he felt it again. A surge of electrifying energy, forcing your eyes open as your entire body jerked, your arms latching around Kylo’s neck from the shock.

The two of you were panting for breath as Kylo rested a hand on your lower back and rested his head in the crook of your neck and collarbone. “Kylo… What was that?” He placed a soft kiss at the base of your neck, as you clung and straddled Kylo’s body; who was currently chuckling softly.

He quietly whispered into your ear, “It’s a forcebond Y/N. I had one…” Kylo stopped himself. He knew if he continued the mood would turn sour.

“With Cestrum. I know.” You quietly finished his sentence.

Kylo stared into your orbs, trying to make himself believe this is all real, that he was truly given another chance to do this right. “Y/N, I promise now and forever that I will take care of you and our child… I won’t let our child be taken away from us or be raised without their father.” Kylo stood and removed his lengthy cape and draped it over your naked and freezing form. He tucked an arm under your knee’s, and another under your mid back.

He raised your limp exhausted body off of the cushion with no struggle, you admired his strength and truly knew he would never let any harm get to you. “As much I love your little declaration of protection… I think I can handle myself.” You quietly whispered to him as he strode down the halls of the Finalizer, you nuzzled into his warm chest and closed your eyes to appreciate his presence.

Kylo chuckled, a deep vibration that emanated from his chest, making you smile as well. “I know you can, but a little extra never hurt, did it?”

Kylo used the force to open the door to his quarters. “I’m staying in your room?”

“Do you really think I’m letting my wife stay in the knight’s compound? You’re mine, and you’ll stay with me now. A couple troopers already moved your stuff to my place.” Your head perked up and you clenched when Kylo spoke so possessively about you, it felt nice to be claimed.  

He laid you on the couch as you winced at how sensitive you were down there. He removed his cape from your bdoy as you whined from the cold. He began removing the white sheet from your body, he hesitated after he removed it from your breasts, staring at how full they were and the size of them compared to your petite waist. You caught Kylo ogling at your breasts, you recalled Cestrum telling you he was a boob man. You tilted Kylo’s chin up so he met your gaze, you caught him gulping, no doubt from his mouth salivating at your breasts. “Enjoying yourself?” You croaked out, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

Kylo smiled as began removing the rest of your sheet, he took his time unwrapping your legs, being extra gentle with how sensitive and torn everything was down there. Once he had everything unwrapped, he intricately set the white sheet so that the dried blood and his cum all mixed together, were on display. You watched him place the dirty sheet on an empty display table. “Egh. Kylo throw that out,” your lip curled at the sight of something so gross.

“Kylo rested a warm hand on your belly, “Never. It’s the first tangible memory of us.” Kylo stood and headed into the fresher, bringing back a wet warm towel along with a dry one. “Open up.”

You hesitated you were already feeling so sore. You slowly open your legs as Kylo placed feather light touches… he seemed to know exactly what to do, you wonder if he had done this to her before. “Y/N…” There was a soft gentleness in his voice, one that you knew was hitting his weakness and was begging you to stop.

“I’m sorry… I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.” You replied closing your eyes, trying to will the thoughts away.

“I know. I was a fool, I should’ve went looking for her, I sensed her presence getting further and further away, I didn’t do anything… I did nothing.” Kylo looked away as he dropped the wet towel and the dry one, having finished cleaning you up.

He forced himself to stop reminiscing and take care of you. He noticed your body covered in goosebumps and quickly placed his cape around you and wrapping you in it. He lifted you up bridal style once more, and led you to his bedroom. He removed the cape and tucked you in to the sheets, your buds hardened at the contact with the silky sheets.

Kylo came to bed and stood at the edge of his bed as he removed his final layers, he watched you in bed drifting slowly sleep, your skin still glowing; your nipples stiffened and peaking through his silk sheet. Kylo bit his lips at the sight of you, he felt himself stiffening already. ‘Fucking hell this girl is going to drive me insane.’ Kylo moved himself into bed, he prodded his stiffened member into your rear, you moaned as you felt him poke your bum.

Kylo moved your hair behind your ear, and whispered huskily into your ear, “You’re lucky I’m abstaining, Y/N. If it weren’t for your situation, I would’ve taken you once more.”

Your eyes widened, shocked at this side of your master. Kylo chuckled sensing your reaction, “You’re mine Y/N… only mine.”

You inhaled heavily, confused at the situation your in. You had never expected Kylo to be so possessive, Cestrum always spoke about how gentle he always was with her. Still you couldn’t lie, no man had ever been worthy of bedding you nor ever reaching your level of superiority. Most boys were intimidated by the strength of your powers and how strongly you believed in your motives. But Kylo… he understood.

The next morning Kylo took complete care of you, you were having a hard time moving your legs for a few hours the next day, he fed you, showered you and dressed you. He held back for a few days in order for your physical state to recover. The next two weeks, you spent the day training with the knights and the nights having ‘restrained’ sex with Kylo, your body was surprisingly having a hard time adjusting to Kylo’s girth and length. You would spend every morning relaxing and trying to heal your aches down there, eventually to sorely make your way to train with the other knights, Reign and Tyrian would always smirk at your limping.

Albeit Kylo’s commanding of not training, you did not want to let go of your favourite part of being a knight. You couldn’t lie, you loved the adrenaline that kicked in whilst you trained. Once that kicked in, there was no stopping you for a good three to four hours, and Aster and Pyres would get the most brutal part of your rush.

You were enjoying your time with and without Kylo, you liked the new routine you had going. It was nice having someone to be with every night… other than Gruoch. Speaking of whom, Pyres said he was being moody lately, you smirked knowing Gruoch was missing you, and was currently mad at you for leaving him. That night as you lay with Kylo, after your activities, you brought forth the subject of Gruoch.

“I mean why even have him if he won’t fight? Not to say I don’t want him with us, he’s very loving.” You asked Kylo, after relentlessly asking him too many questions.

“Well… the truth is, he was for you. I specifically selected him for you. Gruoch is strong with the force, yet he will never learn to harness it, he lacks the persistence and mental capacity to understand such a thing. He was to protect you, I couldn’t always be around to keep an eye on you so Gruoch did.”

“Why are you so adamant on providing me protection? Do you think I’m incapable of protecting myself?” You narrowed your brows at him as your head lifted from his chest to face him.

Kylo sighed, “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself, but Supreme Leader insisted you be protected. He’s known, he has always known what the future held.”

You stayed silent, cringing at the fact that Supreme Leader was actually a very intrusive man. Kylo sensed your uneasiness. He cupped your cheek and rubbed his thumb, “Hey, everything he does, is for the betterment of you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you quietly whispered back.

“Y/N I have some news.” Your core shook at that, you didn’t know what to expect, and by his tone you knew it was serious.

Kylo chuckled at your turbulence of fear, “It’s nothing bad I promise. I have a new mission.”

Your heart dropped at that, “What? Why? Where?”

Kylo smiled, relishing how much he meant to you, “It’s for three weeks that’s all I can say, okay? I’m sorry, I don’t want to leave you, believe me. But it’s a mission straight from Supreme Leader.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning.” You quickly sat up and jumped onto his abdomen, straddling his waist line, taking his arms into your hands and holding them above his head. Your cunt was throbbing, sore from your nightly sex.

“KYLO! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS NOW?!”

Kylo had a massive smirk on his, he felt himself harden already. He was waiting for Y/N to break, yet he didn’t know it would be over as something as small as this. Kylo’s eyes were swirling with that same look of lust, he just had not more than an hour ago.

You pushed your butt back trying to press him into bed even more, only to be met with something stiff and hardened into your rear. Your eyes narrowed as you smirked, your hold on his arms easing. Kylo quickly took opportunity to seize your hips and throw his legs over the side of the bed onto the ground, your legs fully straddling him and your cunt slightly touching his man hood.

Kylo felt the warmth of your heat, he gritted his teeth as he stared deep into your eyes that stared back at him with the same intensity, “Ride me Y/N.”

Something darkened inside of you as you heard those words, a sudden burst of dominance rode over you as you realized just how much control you really have over the great Kylo Ren. You used the force to lay him back and press his hands above his head, you knew fully well that he could’ve broken the hold you had on him, but he was submitting.

You licked your lips at that thought, ‘He’s submitting.’ You traced a line down from the hollow of his neck, down to his sternum, down to his naval directly into your slit, he squirmed, his cock throbbing behind you, begging for attention. You lifted your hips your rear floating in the air behind you as your back arched. You crawled backward as his cock slid between your lips, he moaned as his head fell back into his bed, you relished, loving the control you have.

“You should’ve told me earlier Ren,” you sat yourself on his quads, you traced a hand along his hardened member, his legs stiffened underneath you, as the rest of his body stiffened as well. “I’m your wife not some whore, understand?” You grip his hardened purple cock, leaking some pre-cum, that you licked off slowly.

“Ffffuckk, Y/N do something.” Kylo stuttered, breathing unevenly. You laughed, your head falling back. “Look at you Kylo. You know I wasn’t actually going to fuck you, I was going to run out of the room back to my old room, and leave you here. But seeing as I won’t have you for another three weeks… I think I’ll have my last fill.”

You lined yourself with him, your palms flattened over his lower abdomen. You slowly sunk down your head rolling back along with your eyes, Kylo let out a growl and a hiss. You sat there for a minute your cunt protesting your insides turning struggling to take him once more. “Ah fuck Kylo.”

Kylo sensed your struggle, you felt sick unsure if you could ride him with your stomach throbbing so much. The force holds you had on Kylo disappeared as Kylo moved up resting his hands resting on your back as he cradled you back on the bed. He saw your scrunched face as tears fell out of your eyes, he slowly set a pace as you screamed, pleading at the amount of pain you were feeling.

Kylo didn’t stop, eventually you felt your climax building despite the endless pain. He increased his pace, he felt you clenching him, encouraging him on. Your eyes rolled back form exhaustion and over stimulation.

After a few more strokes, your climax came tumbling in as your entire body clenched as the orgasm forced itself out of you as you screamed, “KYLO! Mmm fuck me!” You panted heavily. Kylo thrusted harder and harder in you shaking your whole body as he finally came in you with a grunt and a growl.

Kylo stayed inside of you as you milked his cock emptying itself in you. You panted, head still rolled back and eyes shut, you were feeling beyond sensitive down there.

Kylo stared out you, feeling how sensitive you were down there… Kylo came out of you with a pop, and slowly climbed down to watch his cum and yours mix and come out. You laid there about to fall into a deep sleep from the pure exhilaration you just experienced.

Kylo grabbed your thighs, forcing them wider apart as he grit his teeth in lust. He didn’t hesitate to even consider how you felt, as he started lapping at your sex. “KYLO! NO PLEASE I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!” You shouted out, your back arching trying to move back away from his mouth, but he hooked your knees into his arms as he expertly worked his tongue in you. He started moving his tongue in and out of you as you felt another climax building painfully, his nose bumping into your clitoris.

Kylo loved the taste of himself and you, he slurped sucking on every inch of you, your arms thrashing and banging the mattress. “Kylo! No! Mmm fuck!! No!” Your climax finally hit that had you screaming at the top of your lungs, “KYLOOO!”

He slurped you clean as you fell limp in his bed, you sobbed loudly, feeling beyond overly stimulated. Kylo laid beside you, his mind clouded by lust, he picked up your form and laid you on top of him as you fell limp, your arms fallen on his chest. You sobbed quietly now, accepting his warmth.

Kylo laid, one hand stroking your hair, as you fell asleep on him. “You will bear me a son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun to write. There wasn't supposed to be smut, but a certain song came on and I thought screw it, its still developing the plot. ESPECIALLY that last line ;) HINT HINT
> 
> There's gonna be a major plot twist... I can't wait :DDD
> 
> Possibly next chapter, writing it out seeing how much I wanna space it out. BUT YAYYY MORE SMUT!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is leaving for his mission... for three weeks.

Kylo woke you the next morning, bit earlier than usual. He took care of you because of your condition, last nights events were much longer than the rest of the nights, and you were feeling beyond exhausted. Kylo lifted you out of bed and laid you in the hot bath he had set up, you relished the heat of the water massaging your muscles. Kylo hopped into the shower, as you took your time scrubbing your body gently. Once you finished, you unplugged the bath water, by the time Kylo came the water was just about done and he picked you up once more carrying you in a bath robe to his bed again.

After dressing you in your normal clothes, Kylo sat beside you once more on the bed. He wrapped you in his cape, resting his forehead against yours, he was fully dressed except his gloves and helmet. “There are pregnancy tests in the drawer in the bathroom, wait a couple days and take one. I’ve already ordered you breakfast, your welcome to stay here or retreat to the knight’s compound, I’ve got to go now Y/N, stay safe.” Your shoulders slumped as a frown fell on your face, he gently kissed your forehead and headed for the door.

You laid on his bed, feeling empty as his room, ‘When had I become so dependant on him?’ Your thoughts went to the pregnancy tests, ‘Why did Kylo want me to wait a couple days?’ You decided you would wait, too tired from last nights events to pursue the work of pregnancy tests. Your breakfast finally arrived, consisting of many proteins. You smirked to yourself at Kylo’s choices of food for you, knowing you would need to gain strength.

As you ate your food, you began to reminisce. You had wondered if Kylo was actually devoted to you as you are to him, of course you had always been devoted to him, he is your master after all. You couldn’t help but wonder if Kylo was just doing all these niceties to accommodate your emotional and mental balance in your situation. He knew you weren’t exactly adamant on bearing children.

But you remembered when you, Aster and Kylo had left the Jedi Academy headed to Supreme Leader Snoke. He watched over you two and made sure Snoke wasn’t too harsh on you and Aster… even if Kylo had to bear some punishment for protecting you two. You wondered if Supreme Leader had this planned, you wondered if he had specifically ordered Kylo to bring you when the Jedi Academy was destroyed. ‘Was it always your destiny to bear his child?’

You suddenly felt disgust, ‘How is it that I let myself succumb to this? My destiny, since I left my wretched planet, was to become a successful force wielder, to follow down the path of celibacy and abstinence from any intimacy, why did I betray that little girl who promised to never succumb to such weakness?’

You finished your last bite, gaining enough energy to walk about the room and withstand the pain from your lower abdomen. You had a couple hours before the knights would train, so you decided to actually explore his quarters. You found your way to his library, you walked in and saw the endless books running along the walls, a large table and chair in the middle with books, papers and holocrons splayed about.

You walked around the table and read some of things from the books. You found a lot of the books were about something called the ‘Grey Jedi,’ you began reading the book, you reached to flip the page but as soon as your fingers grazed the page you were thrown back.

You landed on soft ground, your vision was hazy as you felt wet heat leak form your abdomen, you were in a forest perhaps? The ground around you was foggy, it felt as if you were moving slow motion. You suddenly heard someone shout ‘No.’

It sounded awfully like Kylo, you tried to get up to see but your head felt like it weighed as heavy as much as a bantha, you felt your body slipping into unconsciousness until you were leapt awake as your entire body was submerged inside of some cold goo.

Your eyes suddenly opened, you were heavily breathing as you stood off of the library floor, you limped your way to the chair and plopped down on there. You wrapped Kylo’s cape around your body, your limps shaking uncontrollably as your abdomen ached terribly. A few minutes, you felt perfectly fine, you replaced Kylo’s cape around your shoulders once more, you felt something buzzing in your belt, you pulled out a communicator that Kylo must have put when he dressed you. You set it on the table, and an image of Kylo seated showed up.

“Y/N are you alright? I could sense your distress, what happened? Are you in my library?”

You rubbed your face, trying to conceal any pain, “I’m fine just experienced… something strange?”

“Like what?” Kylo’s voice was concerned.

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to worry you.”

“Y/N… you don’t need to hide anything from me, you can trust me. Tell me.”

You stared at his eyes through the holo, ‘You’re the reason, I’m in this mess.’ You concealed that thought from him, “Kylo, seriously I’m fine. Just tripped and hurt my shoulder, I’m fine.” You convincingly smiled at him. “I’m fine.”

You bid your goodbyes and hung up. You knew you should’ve told him, he does care for you. So, what kept stopping you?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know very small chapter, but the next one is big. I needed to add some alone reader time, contemplation and confusion... ahh nothing better to progress plot.
> 
> This was originally going to be part of the next chapter but I thought nope, we need a filler and something to calm shit down.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage Hux, well he's a friend.

About two days in, you had been informed that you would be sitting in a meeting for Kylo, you had often done this when a mission would coincide with his work. You were glad to have some sort off change into your routine, as you sat at the head of your table, putting on your ‘Knight of Ren’ face. You had just finished a day of training with the knights and had dinner with them after freshening up.

You watched Armitage talk about mission stats and weapon stats, he professionally walked about the room explaining holo’s and other boring crap. You wondered how Kylo actually sat through these without sleeping, no wonder he wore a helmet.

You started tuning out the meeting, focusing more on Armitage. You remembered when you first arrived at the First Order, after Supreme Leader’s training. The first time you saw him in the command area of the in-construction Starkiller base. Kylo and him had already been acquainted before and were seemingly the two most incompatible and bitterest towards each other, you found Armitage a nice presence.

You were drawn back from your thoughts when you heard his voice declare the end of the meeting, all the other lieutenants collected their data pads and headed out. You stood and picked up your data pad about to leave when you heard him call you, “Lady Ren, I was hoping we could talk.”

Armitage was walking around the table collecting data cubes and replacing them back in the storage. You sat yourself down on the same chair, “Anything particular General Hux? And I’ve said now a thousand times, Y/N, Lady Ren is for the knights and troops.”

The general’s face relaxed, “Well, then the same can be said to you, General is for my troops and the knights, Armitage for you Y/N.

You grinned cheekily, ‘’There’s the formal charm, I remember.’’

Armitage snickered as he sat in the adjacent chair to yours, his hands resting forward on the table, “So, you are now Mrs. Ren?”

You sighed looking up at the ceiling, “Yes I am. Bound to Kylo Ren as he is to me. I… Armitage I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“Do you know why I am absolutely loathing myself ever since I agreed to do this?” You kept your gaze on the ceiling, finding the strength to explain to Armitage your history.

“It’s because of your mother, isn’t it?” You brought your gaze to look down at him, confused. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I did some research prior to your arrival, well on all of the knights when they individually started arriving. I had to know who you all were.”

You gulped, “I promised myself as a young girl I wouldn’t succumb to this path… This path that my mother endured.”

“Y/N pregnancy is beautiful thing, your mother was stripped of the right to choose a mate, but you have been given a chance to have a mate. Despite it being Kylo, you deserve to be happy. Y/N, I ask this only because I care for your well being… Is everything okay with Kylo? He hasn’t forced you...”

You reached out and held one of his gloved fingers, “You would be surprised at how gentle the man actually is. I promise if anything like that were ever to happen, you would know.”

Armitage wrapped his hand around yours and gave it a squeeze, “Take care of yourself Y/N, my quarters are always open if you ever need someone to talk to.” With that he stood and proceeded to leave, presumably to head back to work.

You headed back to Kylo’s quarters and in to the bathroom, you had peed on the stick and decided to check after the meeting.

You stood at the edge of the bathroom door staring at the test from afar, you couldn’t see the results but couldn’t bear the burden of taking another step towards it. You reached out with the force floating it in front of you and into your hand, one line…. You weren’t pregnant.

You threw the test out. ‘This is good. I can tell Kylo I don’t want to do this anymore, he told me I had a choice, he’ll understand.’ It was late in the evening, you decided to go to bed early tonight, your body sore from the lengthy training of the day.

You awoke the following morning, an hour before your alarm, you felt like you were suffocating, the air around you was hot, your body drenched in sweat. A pressure around your chest, a pit of ache sitting there feeling as if a heavy ball was pressing against your chest. You let out a loud sob, unknown emotions of sadness, pity, anger, sorrow came flooding through you, you found yourself on all fours head buried in the bed sobbing loudly and uncontrollably.

You lifted your head, you were hiccuping as you cried non-stop, you reached for the communicator on the bed side table, you started ringing Kylo. You knew deep down… he needed you. But the communicator kept ringing and ringing, you grit your teeth as anger flooded through you, the force around you lifting the communicator and slashing it against a nearby wall.

You grabbed Kylo’s cape off the corner of the bed, wrapping it around yourself as you put on your boots. You stumbled your way to Armitage’s quarters, his door slid open as you banged on it, he was already dressed and ready for work, you stumbled inside and fell on your knees, “I can’t reach Kylo, somethings happened to him I feel it.”

Armitage lifted you up and led you to his couch, wrapping Kylo’s cape around you more securely, his hand lingering when he realized what he was actually wrapping around you, he brought you water as you chugged it down.

“Something has happened… General Leia Organa has died."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yup broke the chapter again!! I can't help it it's too big to be one chapter and there's too much action to be put into one. 
> 
> I think it's safe to say the next chapter major plot twist will happen... yeah it's about to get worse, but here's another plot-progressing filler. 
> 
> Reminder, reader and Kylo are force bonded... COUGH emotions get tangled up between the two COUGH
> 
> smol child Kylo was sad mommy died :(


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren is back.

You stood in hanger alongside General Hux, awaiting your husband’s arrival, the two weeks had gone by thankfully very quickly. You had missed him, there was no doubt in your mind about that, and the last few days the bond between you was explosive with emotions.

But the real nausea that was settling in your stomach was from having to tell him the truth, about your situation and decision. You inhaled and closed your eyes, you felt General Hux looking at you from the corner of his eyes, observing your state of uneasiness.

You finally heard the roar of his engine come into the hangar, he landed his command shuttle expertly and soon enough he strode out without his helmet. You had never seen him striding outside of his quarters without a helmet, despite it being late into the night right now. He greeted the General, and you observed his dark circles and hollowing cheek bones. He caught you observing him, taking a small step and placing a kiss on your forehead.

The General’s fingers twitched at the sight. Kylo fixed his cape, still wrapped around you and took your arm heading towards your shared quarters. “General we will debrief in the morning.” Hux grit his teeth as he watched the pair walk away.

The two of you walked to his quarters quietly, not saying or not having any words to say to each other. Once you entered his quarters and the doors shut, you leapt into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding onto you as if you would disappear too. You shut your eyes as he sat himself on couch you still wrapped around him inhaling his scent, settling your head in the crook of his neck.

You moved back and leaned your forehead onto his, holding his face in your hands. “What happened?” You quietly whispered, observing his shut eyes and agape lips. He hadn’t been sleeping you could tell.

Kylo swallowed, trying to steady himself, “Y/N… are you pregnant? Did you… did you take the test?”

You unwrapped yourself from him, standing up and turning your back to him, you felt him arise. He stood behind you wrapping his long arms around you and resting his chin on your forehead, “Tell me Y/N… I need some good news for once.”

Your shoulders slumped, you quietly whispered, “Kylo… I don’t want to do this anymore.” You felt Kylo go still, his breathing hardly audible. His arms that were lovingly wrapped around you, now slid there way pressingly up your arms and rested on your shoulders. His hands turned your shoulders to face you, his body leaning down to stare right into your face, “What did you say, Y/N?” He spits your name with venom, as if the name itself was a poison on his tongue.

You held your wavering defiant façade, “I’m not pregnant and I don’t want to do this anymore.” Kylo stood to his full height, removing his arms from you. He chuckled, his shoulders shaking as his breathing became ragged, he ran a shaky hand through his waves. “Do you know where I’ve been the past two weeks? No of course you don’t. You only care to be fucked, to be taken care by me. Well let me inform you Y/N, General Leia Organa had been informed that I was planning on having a child. She was fully aware of the last time a grand child was amidst her reach, and she was aware of her brother’s stupidity. This time she believed she could make it different and she planned on taking you and the child away from me. Supreme Leader was wise enough to inform me, he told me of her location and where she was travelling, I had to protect you Y/N.”

“You killed your mother, based on from what Snoke told you? Have you ever considered that perhaps he’s not a reliable source?!” You felt anger seep through your veins, anger that somehow, he managed to turn the death of his own mother on you.

Kylo stalked towards you in two furious steps, he grabbed your forearms with a death grip. You stood unfazed by his temper, been there seen that. You breathed through your nostrils as your teeth grit and a snarl rested on your face. “Questioning Supreme Leader Snoke could be charged with treason, and treason is dealt with death… by my hand. Watch your mouth Y/N.”

You harshly pulled your arms from his grip, disgusted he would even mention that. “I won’t bear a child that will be shipped off like cargo to Snoke. Don’t deny it, you know he will take our child.”

“What’s it to you? You don’t want to do this anyways, why would a child matter to you, a child of a whore?”

Your eyes went wide as you stalked to him this time, your fist collided straight with his face earning a simple snarl from him. “That ‘whore’ took care of me, and raised me! I intend to do the same! I will never bear your child! You come from a family of problematics, YOU ARE A PROBLEM!”

Kylo’s eyes tinged with slight yellow, swirling about his usual dark brown orbs. You backed up knowing that only happened in true moments of unaltered pure rage of anger. “You once told me your mother was raped. Was she as incompliant as you? As stubborn and incompetent as you?” He walked towards forcing you backwards.  
  
Kylo lunged forward at your body, you leapt out of the way using the force to accelerate your jump, “Kylo, what are you doing?”

“What I should have done along time ago, whores don’t deserve to be given choices.” You felt your body freeze, frozen by his force hold.

You tried wiggling yourself, you had practiced this with him many times, succeeding only when he would be gentler. You managed to move your shoulder, only to be frozen again. Tears pricked at your eyes, you knew what was going to happen.

Kylo stood looking down at you, he began stripping of his layers down to just his boxers that showed his hard member prodding out.  You whimpered, he began unwrapping his cloak from your body, revealing your tight fit turtle neck and fitted regulation pants. Kylo palmed your breasts as you shut your eyes, he put a finger near the hem of the collar and tore through the material, next he tore your sports bra off. He pulled down your pants and panties down with one pull, moving to stand once more as he reached down to roughly grab your rear and slap it harshly.

You stood frozen by the force, your whimpers and pleads muffled by his force hold. Kylo picked your naked body up against his broad chest carrying you bridal style to his bed, your hands were clasped together still, along with your ankles by his force. You shut your eyes trying to focus, you were about to break the hold when you felt yourself thrown, you landed roughly on the bed, your neck jerking back and landing once more on the bed.

Kylo went into his closet and came out with ropes. You thrashed your hips in the bed, whimpering loudly. “Shh.” Kylo quieted you as he tied your limbs to each end of the bed, the force hold finally letting go, you tried to untie the knots he made using the force, you grit your teeth using your anger to focus you, “It won’t work Y/N, there force severing ropes.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Please Kylo don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but this is the only way.”

Kylo removed his boxers, you began to scream and whimper, he stuffed your mouth and gagged you with his boxers, you could taste his precum on your tongue. Your eyes dropped thick tears, “This is how it has to be Y/N, you did this.”

Kylo thrust into you, forcing your body to create juices to make his rough thrusts acceptable. You could hear the lewd sounds coming from down there as your body jerked roughly back and back to Kylo with his rough grip on your hips. You felt yourself choking, unable to handle just how deep Kylo and how painfully he was going in and out of you.

You felt him stabbing your cervix with every thrust, a heavy whimpering breath muffled by his boxers after every intrusion in you. You couldn’t get beyond the pain, Kylo savagely fucking you with no hesitant or care as to how your body would feel, all you could feel was the constant stab in your cervix, sending electrifying pain to each inch of your body.

“Fuck Y/N! Look at you, begging for my cock.” You let out a loud sob, as tears fell down your scalp burning the skin, you shook your head sobbing louder. Kylo would come out just to his tip and thrust all the way back in, not being gentle and slow like he always was.

With a few more brutal thrusts he came, his breathing ragged and loud, an animalistic growl escaping from his mouth. He removed himself and immediately replaced you with a cold plug keeping his come inside you.

“You will bear me a child Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! That was intense. Kylo you idiot, you don't kill space mom! and you don't rape reader! 
> 
> As of right now, Kylo is delusional, the boy just killed his mother, so yeah he's fucked up.  
> Let's see how this one turns out!
> 
> ps. there was a Game of Thrones line in there try and find it ;) it was very subtle


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wakes up.

You woke up, a soft plushy bed and a clean scented pillow under your head. You inhaled… the scent wasn’t Kylo’s, the memories came rushing back. Your face scrunched up as you felt thick hot tears fall down your face, you heard a door open and looked down the bed to see a large form standing in the door way.

Your eyes blurred by tears, you moved backwards, whimpering at the pain in your lower regions. You grabbed the sheet covering yourself realizing you were naked, the cold leaving goosebumps all over you. As you looked up again you saw ginger, you wiped your eyes and were met with a look of sympathy from none other than the General Hux.

You grit your teeth, the pain in your lower regions still not receding, “I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m not aware of such an emotion, but I am aware of sympathy.”

You scoffed, sniffling as you gently laid yourself once more under the sheets. “Where’s the difference?”

“There’s a lot, but it isn’t relevant. What is relevant, is Ren’s stupidity.” The General at the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared down at the polished floor beneath him.

“Where am I?” You asked, unable to tell from the lack of differentiation from both Ren’s and Hux’s quarters. “My quarters. Ren messaged me after… it happened. He wasn’t sure what to do.”

“I don't know what he plans to do, but I plan to murder him,” the general chuckled at that, giving you the side eye. His grin went down to a smirk as he saw the look you were giving him. “I can’t convince you out of that, nor do I want to, quite honestly.”

“How long have I been out?” Hux began telling you about what had happened, how you had been taken to the med bay, it seemed you had suffered some serious internal bleeding. ‘Well no shit, that dick head pierced through my cervix,’ you thought to yourself. You felt thick tears fall down your face as you pulled the sheet over your head, you felt the general place a hand near your calf. “Y/N, I’m sorry, truly. You did not deserve that. I always knew Ren had a temper… I never thought he would go this far.”

Your lips trembled as you sniffed once more, a lingering pain setting in your lower abdomen. “You’re clothing are sitting on the couch, the rest of your stuff has been brought here, your welcome to stay with me. The knights…”

“Do they know?” You asked quietly, a weight of worry settling on your chest.

“No… I was on my way to inform them of your absence for the next little while but Ren stopped me.”

“Good… the knights… they can’t know. They can’t know.” You felt the general’s confliction, he bid you goodbye and told you breakfast was on it’s way, encouraging you to eat some solids. You heard the general leave, you came out of your sheet cocoon sitting yourself up on his headboard. You whimpered as your arms trembled from the shaking pain from your core. You whimpered loudly as tears fell from your eyes, “I’m going to murder you Kylo Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter, I know it's trash and so small. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS ONLY BEEN THE SECOND WEEK OF SCHOOL AND I'VE ALREADY GOT FOUR ESSAYS, TWO LONG ASSIGNMENTS DUE IN A THREE WEEKS AND TWO ASSIGNMENTS WORTH 13.5 PERCENT OF MY TOTAL GRADE AND TWO TESTS ALREADY. 
> 
> So yeah, as you can tell I'm a liiiittttllllle stressed.. not too much. But I might get another chapter up tonight??? Who knows, just trying to see how long the three red-bull's I had about half hour ago will last.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar pain...

Three weeks had passed since the events, you had almost fully recovered. You were still encouraged to stay away from training, but you still did your agility movements in Hux’s quarters, you were restless and paranoid; Hux had assured you that the door had a force adhering lock and couldn’t be opened from the outside nor in, lest you felt the need to succumb to your murderous side.

You felt your something inside yourself twinge with discomfort as you did your core exercises. You laid yourself on the floor, enjoying the cold ceramic touch of it as you inhaled and exhaled heavily, trying too calm your breathing as the pain began to slowly subside. You grit your teeth, the anger bubbling once more as you remembered the true reason of your pain.

Across the ship, Kylo Ren stood above the command centre watching the employees rush about their work. He felt her presence again, he had felt her presence every now and then, overpowering waves of anger as he felt how much he truly made her mad. He felt somewhat guilty about doing that to her, but justified his actions as necessary, he needed this heir and you just didn’t realize the importance of this child.

Kylo Ren sensed something was bound to happen…

Another week had passed, you were on the couch with Armitage having your late evening talks, you mindlessly ran your hands through the tabby’s, Millicent, fur. You could feel her soft purr, and soon her loud snoring as she fell asleep.

You kept your conversation going with Armitage, he was speaking to you about upcoming missions, they had discovered the Resistance base, now on Crait. He explained to you on attacking them but Armitage knew the resistance still had some of the New Republic’s fleet, if they met them in battle they would lose a lot of their men, which strategically could be avoided and would be more convenient for the Order.

Hux continued with his planning as you listened absentmindedly, replying to him every so often and recommending certain strategies. Your mind was elsewhere, there was a weight in your lower abdomen, you weren’t sure what it was, you had eaten a light meal so you knew it wasn’t food bothering you. 

You began to rub your abdomen, feeling lightheaded.

Some time had passed, and Hux was beginning to take notice of your grunts and whines; your constant shifting to find a comfortable position on the couch. He had assumed you were menstruating, ‘Better luck next time Ren,’ he thought to himself. ‘As if they’ll be a next time.’ He heard your voice chime in your mind, as you sneered at him. He stared at your face, it was turning red and you were starting to break a sweat.

“Y/N are you alright?”

A loud banging filled the quarters, Hux stared at the door in disgust, he knew he had came. “HUX! Open this door.”

Your eyes widened as you realized he had come, ‘Was he hurting?’ You felt another surge of pain shoot through your abdomen, your vision flashing white momentarily. You let out a loud a gasp of pain, earning a look of worry from Hux, stopping him temporarily from yelling at Ren through the door.

You whispered to Hux, “Open the door.”

“Y/N, don’t be delusional, I said I would protect you and I intend to. That man is not to come in here, under the orders of Supreme Leader as well.”

You grit your teeth, trying to force the pain away but nothing worked. You could feel something shifting inside you, urging you towards the door, your legs cramped to keep you down on the couch. Your face was covered in sweat and tears, “OPEN THE DOOR HUX!”

“Y/N NO!”

You grit your teeth, as you tried to center yourself, you breathed deep into your core and out, “You will open the door.”

You watched Hux walk to the door and place his hand over the finger print scanner, your head fell back as black took over your conscious.

Kylo strode in as he felt the door open, he fell at the couch placing a hand on the white light emanating. Once his vision cleared, he saw his hand placed over your small abdomen, he heard the heartbeat once more, his lip trembled as he sobbed over you. He sobbed loudly and uncaringly, he screamed out like a beast who’s been wounded as tears rid down his face.

Hux felt himself come out of his trance, he saw Ren hunched over your form, sobbing into your abdomen. You were unconscious. “You need to leave,” Hux stood his ground staring at the back of a mess of a man.

“Hux. What have I done?”

“What you needed to do. And what you need to do right now is leave.”

Kylo rose as he stared at your sleeping form, he brushed a hair strand behind your ear as he cupped your cheek. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, as he rested his against yours.

He stood to his full height, making his way to the door. He stopped in front of Hux, lowering his gaze. Hux stared at his hollowing cheek bones and the dark circles around his eyes, his dishevelled hair that was always kept, now turned flat from lack of care.

“Hux, please…”

Hux sighed, “Leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My school almost blew up today... but today was a good day. Got this done in my spare, I know still pretty short but I'm planning on putting out a couple long ones to get shit moving HOPE YOU LIKED IT <333333333


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader wakes up after the strange events of the night prior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Mr. Driver's birthday, and the blessed EW pictures release, it only felt right to bless you guys with a chapter.

You awoke, on the same plush bed. You touched your forehead, feeling a phantom kiss being placed on your forehead. You recalled the events of last night, everything went black as the door opened.

‘The door opened.’

“ARMITAGE! ARMITAGE!!!”

Hux came in, panicking as he scanned the room finding your form sitting on the bed curled up on yourself. “Y/N? What happened? Why are you yelling?”

“He came here last night, didn’t he?”

Hux looked away, his gaze going down to the edge of the bed. “Hux…”

“Y/N… I understand your vendetta against him. And you have every right to be mad at him. But he lied to you, you need to listen to me in order to understand what he is going through.”

“Hux, if you believe I’m going to listen to you sympathize him, you are utterly wrong. If you even utter a word, that makes him even shine under the light of innocence, I will not hesitate to stop you, by any means necessary.”

“Y/N, it isn’t wise to threaten the General of the First Order. What you may believe about your power, you're still under my control.”

“You believe you have power over me? I have the force; do you realize I could murder you with a flick of the wrist? If you believe that because you have housed me and taken care of me in time of vulnerability, to believe that I hold some obligation to be under your jurisdiction? You are entirely wrong General,” you stood off the bed, and stood your ground against, your legs spread and your hands fisted.

“Y/N, ease your stance, I don’t intend to harm you. You will listen to me.” You calmed your erratic breathing, sitting down once more on the bed in his guest quarters. “He’s… made some mistakes. But Y/N, you must understand the type of man you bonded yourself with….” Your eyebrows began to furrow as you felt anger rising once more, Hux noticed quickly changing the topic “It isn’t good for the child to be in a womb of an angry mother Y/N…. Supreme Leader wishes to speak with you…. I suggest you keep your anger minimal.”

You rose from you bed changing into your Knight uniform, grimacing on how similar it was to Kylo’s. Once you reached the meeting chambers, you stood outside, ‘The last time Supreme Leader saw me… I was consummating my marriage in front of him.’ You shivered at the thought, cringing at that annoying ritual.

You stepped inside, the temperature dropping significantly, Snoke’s holo appeared and you went through the standard niceties and reports on personal training. Snoke went even as far as to congratulate you on your pregnancy, which you simply nodded your head.

“The child will be a powerful one, my knight. You should be proud.” Snoke’s wrinkly face crinkled up into one of happiness it seemed. “I understand you and your master are at quarrels with each other.”

You looked up with a complete straight face to his old wrinkly face, “You are my master… I am not at quarrel with you Supreme Leader.”

A deep rumble came from his chest, as he chuckled deeply, “Snarky indeed. Rest yourself Y/N, for that child is just as much yours as it his, you are dismissed.”

You turned to head out and leave but were stopped as Snoke’s voice came once more, “I believe you will be having a visitor in the coming months.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Coming months had come and gone, your belly had swollen to a massive size, you were slowly approaching your due date, it was only a matter on a few cycles.

You were heading back to your quarters, after some light exercising. You forced yourself out of your constricting robes, and passed out onto your bed.

Y/N…

You stirred in your sleep, Y/N… wake up love.

You jolted awake in a cold room…. The same room you’ve slept in for the past months. Your teeth clattered as you wrapped your arms around yourself. You felt someone behind you and quickly turned around, a bright orange silhouette appeared. The light soon dimmed out to reveal Cestrum standing, your eyes went wide as you fell to your knees, your eyes daring to spill as Cestrum rushed over to you and cradled you.

“Cestrum,” you weep her name as she cradled you and shushes you. “Y/N, calm yourself, it’s okay love.” She smiled down at your messy form, cradling you further.

“Cestrum what happened, why did you leave us? Where did you go, what happened?” You gathered yourself, wiping away your tears.

“Oh dear Y/N… I wish I could tell you, but the past is the past, there is nothing that can bring me back.”

“No Cestrum, please tell me what happened?” You begged her, pleading eyes leaking with tears.

Cestrum sighed as she looked away, you still couldn’t believe she was here, “Y/N listen I haven’t much time. Ben… I know, I can feel your hatred, but please, you need to understand: Ben was never perfect with me. He was never stable, always lashing out…. He’s always been a mess, he’s always made mistakes. He’s a fool.”

“No. NO! Cestrum I won’t forgive him, he made me a vow, he said he would never to do the one thing I despised the most.”

“Y/N… you’ve always been so stubborn,” she chuckled, “perhaps you two were always meant to be together… maybe that’s why I…” Cestrum stopped herself from finishing that sentence as a child’s wail came echoing.

Your jaw dropped as tears fell thickly from your face, “Ces… is that…”

Cestrum turned her head back towards you once more, a slight smile appeared on her face, “Save each other, there’s only one way. Save the galaxy.”

Cestrum’s silhouette began to fade, you began screaming trying to chase after her, “Ces PLEASE! I need your help! CESTRUM.”

You jolted awake to a hand on your arm shaking you, your body trembling as you latched onto the person trying to shake you awake. You sobbed into their shoulder, as they held you tight and cradled you in their lap.

You inhaled their scent, immediately recognizing who it was…

Kylo.

You slowly loosened your grip on him as you moved yourself further into the centre of bed off his lap. Kylo’s gaze following you slightly, “How did you get in?” You asked quietly, feeling wrung out from the dream.

Kylo’s gaze lowered to staring at the edge of the bed near your feet, “I could’ve gotten in whenever I wanted… I just…” he didn’t complete that sentence, “Y/N… how long have you been having nightmares?”

You ignored his question, angry and despising yourself for latching onto him like a lost dog, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Y/N please,” Kylo’s voice was getting quieter and quieter as he kept talking. He stood his head lowered, “My Lady, please.” Your head rose at that title, you watched him walk to the middle of the room facing you, Kylo kept his gaze down; as if he were inferior to you.

Kylo knelt down on one knee, his hand reached deep into his cape, retrieving his lightsaber. “Y/N Ren, wife to me, Kylo Ren, known to all as Lady Ren and the only female capable of being a Knight of Ren. I present to you my lightsaber, and denounce my title as Master of the Knights of Ren; in hopes, that you will take my place.”

You slowly stood off the bed making your way to where he stood, the lightsaber hung high in the air, like a toy being presented to a child… you were no child. “Is this your offering of a truce?”

Kylo’s eyes slowly travelled up your form, the underlying’s of your uniform you still had on, graciously fitted to your body. Kylo gulped heavily missing your form next to him at night, making sweet love to him, oh how he missed that.

He finally met your gaze, he slowly shook his head for a no. “I know you have a vendetta against me,” he stood the saber still presented to you in his hands, “but you are with our child. This is so you can protect it.”

Your hand hesitantly reached wrapping around the hilt, your fingers grazing Kylo’s leathered palm, Kylo flinched subtly, you noticed. You picked up the saber weighing it in your right hand, inhaling a breath, a breath of…

Power.

You looked into Kylo’s eyes, the gleam you once remembered from the Jedi days gone… he chose to align with the dark, he was aligned with the light… powerful in both equally; yet never settled. You saw his hollowing cheeks, his dark purple circles around his eyes, his chapped lips, pouted.

Is this the price of power?

“Yes.” His voice quietly whispered as his hand lowered, back to his side. You inhaled once more, “Why did you do it?”

His brow furrowed, knowing you would ask him sooner or later. He had an answer but he never wanted to tell you, he couldn’t tell you; it would break you too, like it did him. “I saw things… Snoke has had visions, something terrible is going to happen, and this child,” his hand went to your womb, you didn’t flinch away this time, “This child will save the galaxy.”

You felt an immense weight drop into your womb, something physically shifted inside you, you felt something lurch towards Kylo’s hand. You grunted and Kylo looked up at you with worry, his other hand placed at your lower back, guiding you towards the bed and laying you down.

You felt another kick, in the same place as Kylo’s hand, Kylo’s eyes went wide. “It’s kicking.” You said happily. Kylo started sniffling as tears spilled heavily down his face, he bent down once more his hands holding your womb resting his head against it.

Your hands were at your sides raised slightly, and taken aback at what was happening. You knew that you should move away from him… but you couldn’t.

Kylo closed his eyes as tears fell onto your belly, a sob wracked his form as a struggled grunt left his throat. He gripped your sides trying to control his emotions, but he couldn’t believe a child he made was inside of you.

You looked down upon Kylo’s head, his body shaking from the silent sobs erupting from his body, your bottom lip quivered as you wiped a tear from your eye. Kylo looked up at you, his eyes struck bright red, as tears nonchalantly slipped from his eyes, your hips in a death grip under his enormous hands.

“I’m sorry… Y/N, I’m sorry.” You sniffled as you ran a hand through his hair, tangled and messy. You chuckled slightly, your voice hoarse as you sniffled once more. “Our son is powerful.”

Kylo looked up at you once more, his lips agape as a smile crept onto his face. “Our son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAAAYYY SO I AM FINALLY BACK AFTER LIKE TWO MONTHS WOOOOH
> 
> so school started and ya girl basically DROWNED in like twenty different assignments, but now midterms came and went. AND NOW I AM FINALLY GETTING SOME FREE TIME ATLAASSSTTT. So more writing YAYAYA!!!!
> 
> But considering THERES ONLY 26 ISH DAYS LEFT TILL THE LAST JEDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am gonna wrap this story up preetty soon... and I have the ending planned and oh boi
> 
> Have some tissue boxes ready kiddos ;)


	13. chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh baby!

“There’s a spy under my command.”

You almost spat out your soup as the General conveyed this information to you. You two were relaxing in his quarters watching some live holo’s. You knew for a fact that the men and women under General’s command went through rigorous training to become who they were, including a force search where Kylo ripped through their minds to ensure they aren’t hiding secrets. 

“No, the commander did his job adamantly, this traitor just recently began conveying information to the Resistance. I wish Kylo messed up, it’s easier to blame him.” Hux replied, taking another sip of his scotch. You rolled your eyes, smirking at how much the men hated each other.

You and Kylo had made some amends, though you still refused to move into his quarters… there were too many bad memories and you had become to comfortable in the General’s quarters.

“So, when are you shooting the traitor out the hangar?”

“I’m not,” he replied quietly. You furrowed your brows, asking if he was in love with this officer.  
He snarled his lips curling upwards, “In all the years you’ve known me, you really think anyone on this ship is competent enough to catch my eye?”

You smirked at him as you raised a brow, the General chuckled, “Don’t flatter yourself Y/N… but yes, I would, had the circumstances been different, Lady Ren.” Your title came out seductively flirtatious out of his mouth. 

“Alright General ginger, that’s enough poison for you,” you took the drink and placed the drink on the coaster on the table ahead of you. “So, what do you plan on doing?”

“We still haven’t had the opportunity to obliterate Crait. Only a few know of the location, it seems the Resistance isn’t aware we know… I intend on keeping it that way, for now at least.”

The General picked up his scotch once more, taking small sips.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “You’re going to use the sympathizer, aren’t you?”

 

The General smirked, “You know me so well.” 

“Well spill, I want to see how flawed your plan is.” You replied, washing off his ignorance. 

“Whatever you say Y/N. The Resistance has recently started trading with a planet near our base, where Supreme Leader is; they rely on armoury and food supply from there. Two things they desperately need, considering we destroyed their only supply from the New Republic. The Resistance believes our mission has become to destroy their surrounding support, we will let them believe that. A week from today, I will hold an emergency deploy, declaring all fleets to destroy every inch of that planet. The Resistance will bring all of their artillery to the planet, and they will be met by the traitor’s fleet, where he will be destroyed…”

“The rest of us will be at Crait…” you nodded, taking in this newly developed information, “what makes you think the Resistance will bring their entire fleet.”

“They have to, every other supplier in the galaxy is ours. They have no armour, no food, they can’t keep the Resistance going.” You were sceptical of his plan, feeling a strange feeling in your gut; ignoring and dismissing it as the baby fussing around in there. 

As soon as you felt the wiggle in your stomach, the door knocked. Hux snarled, “Go away.” The door swooshed open to reveal Kylo standing in all his black fury, “You know Hux, I only knock to be mannerly.”

He walked and knelt down in front of you, “My Lady.”

“My knight.”

Hux stood and pursued exiting the room to his bedroom, “You two need help.”

You chuckled as Kylo placed his large warm, gloveless hands around your overly large womb. 

“Hello my son.” Your heart melted at his vulnerability, you knew you could crush him… you had made amends but there was always this sense of wanting vengeance to him. 

Kylo’s eyes raised to yours, as his lost eyes met your piercing ones. Kylo gulped, as his eyes cast downwards and his hands lowered to his side.

Your eyes teared, “Fucking hormones,” Kylo sat down down beside you on the couch, the holo quietly playing in the background. 

A sob wracked your form, Kylo’s head titled towards, he desperately wanted to hold you. You moved closer to him and forced his arm around you. 

As much as you hated it, you clung onto his stiff bicep, your body was tired, you were tired, you weren’t ready to have this baby.   
\------------------------------------------------------------  
“Deploy all forces… the Resistance dies today.” General Hux stood at the edge of his command centre addressing all his officers in person and through holo’s. Hux had addressed the resistance sympathizer separately, and then proceeded to inform the men that were loyal to him about the true location of their rendezvous. 

You were getting ready, putting on your newly altered uniform, fitting the curves of your exhausted-ready-to-give-birth form. You were planning on heading to the command centre to oversee the destruction of Crait. You were all ready to go, your hair tied back in a regulation bun, your uniform fitted on and your cape bellowing behind you. 

You still had an hour to kill so you just decide to lay back, the knights and Kylo would be heading into battle, you hoped they would be all right. You desperately wanted to join them, but everyone advised against it because of your ‘condition.’ 

You couldn’t help wonder why everyone kept thinking you were so fragile, you were anything but. In face, you had been feeling more rebellious lately, despite your achy form, you still had fight in you  
.   
You were humming to yourself and rubbing your swollen belly mindlessly, as a cramp went through your lower abdomen. You lurched grimacing at the pain, hoping it would start to fade away soon as they usually did. But it didn’t.

It kept getting more intense, your struggled as you rolled onto your side, the pain becoming worse. “Kylo…” You winced as the pain grew sharper. “KYLO!”

The door swooshed open, and in Kylo walked rushing to your room, he found you curled your side wincing and moaning in pain. “Kylo, are you okay?”

“Y/N! Yes, I’m fine. What’s wrong?” You felt hot liquid burst out of your lower regions. “Kylo… my water broke.”

Without hesitation, Kylo stood and rushed you to the Med-bay…  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Six hours later, your baby finally came out. Crying and screeching filled the room, your senses finally came back to you, as you finally took in your surroundings. 

You found Kylo’s massive form knocked out on the ground, rolling your eyes, you observed as the med staff’s chaos died down a little and your son came into your arms. 

His loud cries softened down to quiet whimpers, you saw from your peripheral vision Kylo standing off the ground.

You grinned lazily at him, “Sorry for knocking you out,” you quietly whispered his away, recalling how much anger you felt towards him for putting this baby in you. 

Kylo looked dishevelled, the force of anger coming from you was heavy and suffocating. But he understood, you did just push out a human body.

He walked over to you and his child, he saw the little alien looking body in your arms bundled up resting against your chest. He ordered the med staff to leave them. 

You sniffled as you looked down at your sweet soft child, “He’s here Kylo.” A thick tear fell from Kylo’s eyes… is this what his father felt like?

“I wont ever leave you Azar,” Kylo sat beside you both and held you close in his arms. “Azar… where did that come from?”

“It’s a warrior’s name, my son was born from a warrior, he will be named one too.” Kylo placed a gentle kiss on your head, unable to take his eyes off the delicate child he had created.

You laid your head against his shoulder, relishing this quiet moment; as your son dozed off in your arms, his delicate breathing even and quiet.   
You played with his nibble fingers and grazed his gentle jet-black hair. You felt Kylo place his head atop yours, he was dozing off too. “He has your hair Kylo, congratulations.”

You leaned over and placed Azar into his hospital crib as all three of you dozed off exhausted from these new transitions in life, you snuggled back into Kylos warmth. 

You finally felt happy for once, happy and relaxed. You planned on cherishing this moment, a moment you knew would be taken from you because it was too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooh bby azar is here!! GOT reference somewhat
> 
> Last chapter coming this week, definitely before the 15th.
> 
> Wow, its almost here and I am genuinely not ready :///


	14. chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azar is born, the battle is still in pursuit outside of the ship Kylo, reader and Hux are on. The Resistance proves to be smarter than they lead on, decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its the finale !!!! yayayayay   
> TLJ IN LESS THAN 11 HOURS GUYS!!!

You jolted awake to hushed arguments, “Commander you have a job to do! I have granted you enough time…” You heard Hux’s voice cut off with a grunt, as the door swooshed open and Kylo strode in at an angrily pace.

He looked up, his face softening at the sight of you awakened, “Did we wake you love?” You nodded your head no, looking down at Azar who fell asleep a while ago after drinking some milk. “Kylo… how’s the battle looking outside?”

Kylo’s eyebrows scrunched, his face contorting as he put his hands behind his back, “Y/N I have to leave in an hour… The Resistance knew of our plan. Our fleet is overwhelmed at Crait, the Resistance only took a third of their fleet and are attacking Supreme Leader’s base. I must leave.”

Tears overwhelmed your eyes, you were so tired of this, a sob wracked your form, a soft whimper escaping your mouth. Kylo rushed to your side holding you as you wept, you were exhausted, force you were drained; you just wanted all this to end.

You looked up at Kylo through your tear stained eyes, you saw his hollowing cheeks, the darkened circles around his eyes that were once so expressive, now dimmed from sight of too much death; his once beautiful plump lips, now chapped and scarred from consistent nibbling. You wanted this to end, to just be content. This war needed to end.

“Go. Kill them all, do whatever it takes to end this war.” You looked up at Kylo, a new burning passion in your eyes.

Kylo soon departed to order his command shuttle to prepare, you were greeted by a personal nurse that would stay with you and help with the child. You quickly ordered her to pack essentials for your child, forcing yourself through the extreme pains to get changed… you had other plans.

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The ship took off, you finally sat down in the congested quarters, relaxing a little. You snuck aboard Kylo’s command shuttle, Kylo himself opting to fly in his tie; better for you, the further he was the less likely of him sensing you.

You looked to your maid, she was settling down Azar after having fed him. You were feeling woozy, your head hurting and your body radiating heat all whilst sweating cold sweat. “You’re working too hard for a woman who has just given birth,” the dainty voice of your maid broke the silence, and quieted your grunts.

“Well, Reema isn’t it? I am woman who has too much on her plate. I haven’t got the luxury of working easy.”

You laid your head back… you don’t know why you were doing this, but you had to. You brought your hand down to Kylo’s saber, rubbing it and feeling the hum of the Kyrstal, it was telling you indistinguishable things.

The ship landed as you waited for the troopers to unload onto the planet, you looked to your son Azar,; he was asleep and at peace… Peace, that is what your child deserved. “Reema, stay aboard the ship, and remember, General Hux is an ally. No matter what you’ve heard about him and the commander, he is an ally.”

You waited another thirty minutes before leaving the ship, you felt sicker and sicker every step you took, you looked around the planet, it was a dark, rotting forest. Everything around you was… decaying? Of course a shrewd like Snoke would live here.

Kylo’s lightsaber was shaking at your side, vibrating with life. You felt more weaker and weaker at every step, you felt strong trembles in the force the closer you got to the core of the trembles. You stopped and fell to the ground, you began to weep as your body began to give up, your abdomen cramping and contorting in abnormal ways.

Then you felt the tremor and saw blue in your peripheral, you looked up and blinked as you felt another stab go through your abdomen as you fought back the urge to gag. You blinked away the tears, an ache settling in your heart, your vision cleared as you saw the blue began to take shape, it was a saber pierced inside… Kylo. You felt your heart physically drop, your head felt hot and your eyes felt too heavy.

You saw Kylo’s eyes looking down at the owner of the saber, you saw the despair on his face as he stood there in shock. Your body shook as your eyes begged him to do something, he looked up straight and saw you on your hands and knees, eye blood shot and wisps of saliva. ‘I’m sorry.’ You heard his gentle voice whisper in your mind.

Right there the girl with the saber took out the saber from Kylo’s massive form, he collapsed onto the ground, as you watched this girl run to another body fallen on the ground. She lifted him onto her lap… it was Luke, he was older, distressed and a ghost of himself… he was dead.

Your eyes went back to Kylo, you felt the Krystal vibrate. You watched as a gold form walked up behind the girl, Supreme Leader. You placed your hand on the Kylo’s saber, it spoke, “End it all, make peace in the galaxy.”

Your eyes drifted back once more to Kylo as a scream escaped forcefully from your body, you used the last remnants of your strength, and stood the saber still in your hands. You began to make a run for it, straight to Supreme Leader, you felt the vibration of the Krystal intensify, focusing all your energy into the shaking crystal and a foot away from Snoke, you screamed once more enabling the Krystal to be released from it’s bounds.

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The Jedi, the Sith. They were all meaningless when they refuse to live in harmony… there can only be a balance when they two are together, or none at all.

Or perhaps just one. One who does not know what he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooh that was fun... wrote this while watching tfa
> 
> kylo is currently taking rey aboard his ship in arms... what a creepy romantic
> 
> but this was fun
> 
> not my best, but you learn from mistakes ;)


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